Male Insecurity

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  • #22102
    AvatarAntonio Avila
    PSTEC User

    Hello

    I wanted to ask for some advice on a delicate matter.  I have a huge insecurity about the size of my manhood for lack of a better word, which I am sure a lot of men do. It can be embarrassing to bring up this topic but it needs to be resolved.  It interferes with my love life and meeting new women.  It is not that I am abnormal in any way but simply a mental blockage that no amount of information helps with.  So I am asking for some tips to help clear and improve.

    The biggest scenarios i see are either being laughed at or not satisfying my partner.  I know i need to click track these. Not sure if other scenarios i might also click track.

    Also wanted to know what kind of beliefs i can work on both negative to clear and positive to add on.  I dont own BB yet but plan to soon. 

    Some negative beliefs i would assume would be something like:
    I need to be a certain size to please a woman.
    I cant feel comfortable with myself since i am not huge.

    Also any positive statements i could use with PQT.

    I was just wanting some advice and tips on how to better attack the problem so any input would be appreceated.  I own quite a bit of the PSTEC arsenal so that should help. 

    Thank you for any input

    #26255
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    with pqt you could try

    i know i can handle women everywhere i go

    women come to me in an easy and fun way

    being with women it was always natural to me

    and bb

    i had to be a good lover

    i had to satisfy women

    i had to be strong

    #26256
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    The issue here is around comparing which is a huge issue for men when they perceive a woman is comparing them in some way to another man.. It's also around a part of you that can't be physically changed e.g. height, bald etc

    CT any feelings of comparison in this aspect and also shame, humiliation, embarrassment, not ok, not good enough, inadequate

    #26257
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Tony,

    Thank you for posting.

    I appreciate you taking the time to post and can sense this was not easy for you.

    Further to what Truman and Brian wrote:

    You can use the Click Tracks whilst you imagine the worst-case scenarios of this issue. These might include:

    – imagining women gossiping about you

    – imagining being laughed at

    – imagining being criticised

    – imagining not satisfying your partner

    – imagining the very worst thing someone could say to you about this (you probably already have)

    There will likely be a mixture of emotions here, so you can work through the mixture or simply start with the dominant emotion (e.g. embarrassment)

    Rate the feeling from 0-10.

    Run the Click Tracks until you get to a 0 or 1. This can be done with one play of the CT, or perhaps a few will be needed.

    Please keep going, as it is worth it.

    You can also have a look at your past and see if there are any incidents where you felt shamed or were bullied. You can Click Track these too.

    This approach can work amazingly well for any hang-up.

    Another approach is simply to “blast” away all the beliefs that contribute to the anxiety. This can be done to complement the work with the Click Tracks.

    Using the Belief Blasters is, as far as I'm concerned, the easiest method for systematically eliminating the beliefs that feed an unwanted pattern –

    http://bit.ly/beliefblasters

    The sort of beliefs that tend to feed this pattern include:

    “I'm not good enough”
    “I'm inadequate”
    “I'm inferior to others”
    “I don't measure up”
    “I'm not OK as I am”
    “I'm not acceptable”
    “I don't have what it takes”
    “I'm a bad lover”
    “I'm defective”
    “I'm not manly enough”
    “I don't look good naked”
    “If I don't look good naked, I'll be rejected”
    “What makes me good enough is having people think well of me”
    “Women want men who are better endowed than me”

    You can say these out loud to see if they resonate with you. If they do, then simply put them into the past tense, try hard to believe them and run them through the Belief Blasters.

    There is no rush with this, but systematically clearing the emotions and beliefs will prove highly effective.

    Please keep the thread updated and let us know how you get on.

    All the best,

    Paul 


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #26258
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Also recommend would be to CT feelings of fear of meeting the expectations of others fear of not being good enough and fear of being inadequate. In general and in bed.

    #26259
    AvatarAntonio Avila
    PSTEC User

    Hello everyone

    Thanks everyone for all the advice.  It has helped tremendously.

    I have already started ct some of the issues brought up and it has already helped alot.  Even writing about it has changed. Dont really feel the embarassment i did when asked the first time.  I also use the tapping accelerator between ct sessions and that has brought up things i didnt even remember so thats a plus.

    The only other question would be whats the best way to write these beliefs in the past tense:

    “Women want men who are better endowed than me”
    “I need to be well endowed to truly please my partner”
    “If I don't look good naked, I'll be rejected”

    Into:
    “Women had wanted men who are better endowed than me”
    “I needed to be well endowed to truly please my partner”
    “If i didnt look good naked, i'd be rejected”

    Or is their a better way of writing them.

    Thanks again everyones advice has been great.

    #26260
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Tony,

    You're welcome.

    I am glad you are already getting results.

    The only principles with Belief Blasters are:

    – Use simple beliefs
    – Put ALL parts of the belief sentence into the past tense
    – Try HARD to believe the belief while running the track
    – You can mouth the words of the past-tense belief while the track plays

    For the past tense, any variation is fine. For example, if the belief was “I am not good enough”, that could be “I was not good enough” or “I had not been good enough.” There are other possibilities. Go with what is natural for you. It will work.

    Specifically, though, the only “corrections” I'd make with the sentences you used are:

    “Women wanted men who were better endowed than me”
    “If I didn't look good naked, I'd have been rejected”

    For the second belief, I'd also recommend considering this question:

    What would happen if you truly didn't satisfy your partner?

    Sit with that one and see if any feelings or thoughts spring up.

    You may have another belief about being abandoned – this is quite a common concept in this day and age. “If I don't do/have/be X, people will leave me”

    Thanks again, Tony.

    Paul  :)


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

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