OCD+Perfectionism+Depression = Conquerable
Forums › General Discussions and Specific Issues › Tell us About your PSTEC Story › OCD+Perfectionism+Depression = Conquerable
- This topic is empty.
- January 18, 2015 at 10:55 am#21711SeratoBeatsPSTEC User
First I just want to thank PSTEC (tim, Jeff, everyone!) from the bottom of my heart what you have done to slowly change my life every day that I wake up.
I was at the end of my rope. From the biggest core belief “Not good enough” with the obvious “fear of failure”
Do these beliefs still exist for me? Yes. I believe they will almost always exist for the majority of people. With the pressures society, media, and our parents put on us it's no wonder everyone is so miserable. The need to be perfect to hide insecurities, avoiding failure to feel safe for a lack of self esteem, isolation from the world to protect you from getting hurt, putting pressure on yourself to be the best to prove your worth…. The list goes on
I just want you to know you are not alone. I've spent my years running. Living a lie. Feeling lower then dirt itself. Forcing myself to get out of bed, forcing myself to do anything .
I went through a phase of hating myself, hating the world to feeling like a worthless victim to faking it. I've done it all.
If I didn't find PSTEC I'd probably be doing the same ocd-like compulsions to control the uncontrollable. Going to the gym not for my own health but for a body to impress other women. Doing things because I felt obligated instead of genuinely wanting to do them. Feeling like everyone in the else is living the dream while I'm suffering…
Today I write to you telling you no matter how bad you think you may have it, first understand that even the wealthiest, best looking, most popular people deep down are miserable and depressed. Why? Because no one ever feels good enough. I tell you that for the first time in my life I get up and have a sense of belonging in the world, a sense of self pride and love for myself. And it's all because of PSTEC. The reason you aren't happy can always be a different reason then someone else but I just want you to understand that the only way you will ever truly be happy in life is define success to you. If success to you means owning a Ferrari having the best job in the world… Fine. But ask yourself is that really what makes you happy? What if you had all that then what? What if deep down you had the seed of doubt that you still feel alone? Or that your life isn't eniugh? Or you feel empty? Or you still don't feel that sense of love, belonging, and hapiness?
I'll tell you what success means to me and I can tell you it should be very universal. Success to me is hapiness. Accepting myself despite my past, despite my imperfections, despite any mistakes I have or will make in the future. Success is hapiness. The only way you will ever feel content and happy in life is to love and accept yourself no matter what. Forgive yourself every single day of your life. Thank yourself for being born. Thank and appreciate your situation in life no matter how bad it may seem because the reality is, the next person probably has it even worse then you do and they would probably kill to be you. Avoid hating the things in life you don't have ior wish you were and instead be grateful for the things you do have no natter how little they may seem. It's these ridiculously small “insignificant” things that will give you a reason to wake up and go to work.
I know you've seen posts like this before all over the Internet and you say to yourself “ya ya whatever” and then claim to have it worse and think it's just not possible to get out of your situation. That my friend is a defense mechanism and a belief. There is no reason you can't get out of the hole you're in. I am scared ****less right now of moving forward but you know what in doing it. I'm doing it because fear is inevitable. No matter who you are it will always exist. Courage is what allows you to push forward. Your sense of courage comes from the love and belief you have in yourself to push forward and fight through the fear. I promise hapiness is on the other side of that fear.
If you are the perfectionist type you probably almost certainly have been plagued with some sort of ocd.. No biggie. Ignore what people tell you about the diagnoses. There is ALWAYS a reason for ocd, always a reason for perfectionism, and always a reason for feeling depressed. Beliefs they are I tell ya, and they can and will be destroyed with persistent effort.
I'm not saying PSTEC is going to turn you into an indestructible machine. There will be times you feel nervous, a little insecure, a little doubt. Just remember no one on this planet is perfect and if they were well then… Yeah you know where I'm getting at it. Any change with PSTEC is change. So do not get frustrated with yourself when emotions start to trigger in the real world or you feel a little nervous. YOURE HUMAN!!! PSTEC isn't going to turn you into a walking machine where you will never feel any sort of discomfort. You need to keep realistic expectations and when you set those realistic expectations you will feel more human, more normal, more content, and more happy. Allow yourself to feel a bit of discomfort, a little frightful, a little shy. Program your mind to cope, to tolerate, to accept you can't control every single thing in life to stop you from feeling hurt. Program your mind to allow the hurt to happen by throwing yourself out there and believing that being hurt is a part of being human, it's hoe we react to it and push forward afterward that makes you the courageous happy person you deserve to be
I'm sorry for the ramble but as I said, dig. Start from your childhood and work your way up. I almost guarantee most of your perfectionsm comes from critical parents, making you critical, and being critical of others. Start there. Clear the emotions and your sense of reality becomes more clear and you will see what I mean.
The first set of affirmatioms you really need to stick to are the basics. And this is because you can't enjoy life, live your dream and get the job you want if underneath it all you deeply hate yourself. I see people wondering why they aren't moving in proper direction. Instead of saying hey maybe I'm not happy with myself, they are looking for ways to become rich or pick up women wondering why they aren't getting what they want.
So the basic affirmatuons?
Anything that involves self forgiveness, self love, self acceptance , self trust, self control, self confidence etc..
Notice how it all pertains to the self. Only once you Forgive yourself for being so critical can you then find ways to forgive those who have hurt you or to allow outside abundance into your life.
Begin there and watch how much easier everything else gets. Watch how much easier you can start to “sculpt” what you really desire. Maybe it's money, fame, women, .. As long as you understand that hapiness comes from self love. Any other success is only just a bonus. Your love for yourself is what makes you a successful happy person because I can tell you this, for some, self forgiveness and self acceptance isn't an easy thing. Be proud and happy when you do.
Again thank you PSTEC for everything. I will give another update in a month or twos time with how things are going.
This is just my little short term success and what has worked for me. In the past 3 or so months. I want this to be proof that PSTEC does work and it will only work if you allow it to and see reality.
All the best and for anyone having issues with perfectionism and feeling disconnected feel free to msg me. I can show you what has helped me so far.
One more thing
If you're just starting out with PSTEC you will find the first week or two very painful.
When I started I thought I was loosing my mind. I thought I was going to end up in a hospital. I feel awkward and scared of what was happening. This is normal. It's a shock to your brain and it's the mind changing. The emotions coming out like s flood. One day you will feel like punching things, the next you feel like crying for no reason. Find where they are coming from and eliminate them. It's all part of the process. Remain calm and go with the flow and understand its all part of the process. You want to get rid of the negative emotions right? You aren't crazy it's just part of facing the past.January 29, 2015 at 5:27 pm#23962Peter BunyanPSTEC User
Thanks for sharing your experience of PSTEC. Your story will help and encourage others to overcome their problems.
PeterJanuary 30, 2015 at 4:40 pm#23963Steve BlampiedPSTEC User
Thanks for such a great heartfelt post.
The first thing I always tell my clients is “you're not broken”. You are where you are due to having always done your best with the tools and situations that were available at the time.
Right now, you are perfect at being you.
You might not like the situation you are in, or the way you feel at times but those are just the echoes of the past.
You now have the tools (and support) to change unwanted emotions, beliefs and behaviours in order to create the best version of you possible. Where you go from here is simply a matter of choice.
I wish you all the best on that journey
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.