Overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin untangling ‘life’
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October 24, 2019 at 10:53 pm #22218AmmyPSTEC User
I'm experiencing mental overwhelm and paralysis with everything and i don't even know where to start as there is 'too much wrong with me/too much to change to even know where to begin'.
I have quite a lot of 'schemas' (inflexible patterns of thought, feeling and behavious) and am in a program to help break the patterns so i thought i could use PSTEC to help with it but i don't even know where to begin, i feel completely seized up (again that is a pattern for me) and like i am faced with a mountain i have no idea how to even begin climbing.
I know Tim doesn't like labels and over the years ive been one for collecting them to figure out 'what is wrong with me' which has never made me feel better.
But i am fairly sure i fit the bill of Dependant personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder- i am terribly avoidant.
I am tired of being how i am and feel like i need to be entirely the opposite of how i am, i just feel frustrated and stuck and don't know how to move forward when i don't even know where to begin.
I struggle to feel anything either so during pstec tracks i end up having to imagine how i would feel in situations as i cant evoke it. I know Tim says that youve just got to try and feel the feeling rather than actually feel it but i wonder if i am somehow doing the tracks wrong.
I want to use PSTEC but so far have just used it on events i have been worried about in future and i like to think that my use of PQT and pstec recently was the cause of me being more calm than usual during a performance.
I've considered seeing if i can work with a PSTEC practitioner to help me unravel some of my 'stuff' and help me focus my efforts but it isn't helpful if i just go 'i have these schemas/ maybe a personality disorder/ my whole life/myself feels like the problem.'
I'm not even in a crisis or anything… i just seem to feel numb, like i have functional depression. Nothing is terrible but nothing is good either. I just exist in a numb functional little bubble.
So i just don't know where to begin or go with all of this.
Any advice would be appreciated.October 26, 2019 at 12:33 pm #26701Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator
Thanks for posting.
I appreciate you sharing and can assure you that many other people will identify with what you have written.
Some people feel things very profoundly, while other people have difficulty getting in touch with their feelings. Many people fluctuate between the two.
So, let's go with:
– How do you know you have a problem? (Is it a feeling, thoughts etc.?)
-What does it feel like to be seized up?
Get in touch with that and, by seeing if you can identify specific times these feelings have shown up, you can CT the feelings.
You can also CT the feelings as you are experiencing them. You can then point those feelings towards specific memories. Doing so will provide some relief.
Also, see if the following beliefs resonate with you:
“Life was difficult”
“I was flawed”
“Everything was too much”
“I couldn't handle living like this”
“I had to avoid my painful feelings”
“I was not OK”
“It was not acceptable to be like me”
“Change was impossible”
“Nothing worked for me”
“I was separate”
“I was alone”
“Nobody understood me”
“There was something wrong with me”
If so, please run these through the Belief Blasters.
I think this would be a good place to start, so please let us know how you get on.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
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