Re: obsessed!

[avesraggianaPSTEC User]

I started using PSTEC again last night and today after a very long time span of not using them.  I used them to eliminate mostly negative obsessive thoughts in regards to a relationship I ended almost four months ago. 

What I’ve discovered is that the relief comes pretty quickly, which is good news.  What I’ve also discovered is that a few to several hours later, the same, sad and angry and emotionally loaded obsessive thoughts come back, and sometimes roar back with a vengeance. 

What can I do to make the relief I feel from using PSTEC more permanent?

Thank you.

Arnel

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Arnel…

“using PSTEC … to eliminate mostly negative obsessive thoughts in regards to a relationship I ended almost four months ago. “
What tracks are you using to “eliminate negative thoughts?”

“same, sad and angry and emotionally loaded obsessive thoughts come back”
What are some of those thoughts?

Aloha!
Jeff

[avesraggianaPSTEC User]

Hi, Jeff.

Thanks for your response.

I’m still on the basic free tracks and am poised to buy level one since I do experience relief, albeit temporary.  My mind gets so distracted from all the tapping and banging that it has to stop obsessing – momentarily.

Thoughts are all over the map.  And they often sneak up on me at a time when I can’t tap, bang, meditate, visualise, or do anything else about them – except maybe pray. 

Thoughts like:

– I’ll never find anybody like him again

-I’m never the one

-They never choose me.  Ever.

-What’s he doing now, who’s he with, and why did he have to turn out to be such a jerk?

These are just a few of the general themes around which hundreds of thoughts centre.  Oh, and here’s a big one that’s come up recently:

-It’s not fair that I have to do all this effin’ work on myself and do all these effin’ online courses and programmes when he’s already moved on on his merry way and found someone else.

All thoughts generally centre around anger, sadness, loss and loneliness and a deep, deep longing to be connected to someone else again.

Seems like if I go ahead with PSTEC, I’ll be doing a lot more tapping and banging and smacking and slapping of my desk.

Thanks again.

Arnel

[avesraggianaPSTEC User]

Hi again, Jeff.

Uh -oh…I seem to have hit a rather formidable snag.

Through an email I received from a newsblog I follow, I clicked on a link in regards to “Burning Man”.  (Please google).

Now my ex is a HUGE fan of “Burning Man” and is an avowed “Burner”.  He claimed that upon participating in his first Burning Man a few years ago, it changed him completely.  As his former boyfriend I shudder to think how it changed him, from my perspectival: from a an emotionally abusive narcissist, suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to an even BIGGER narcissist, suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

The very trenchant image came to me of his going to Burning Man which starts this Monday the 25th and lasts until the Sunday before Labour Day.  Through the article I read and the images I saw on the link, I gathered right away that it would be a festive, happy, highly erotically charged, dusty, loud and colourful event.  I also saw him in my mind’s eye with his arm around his new love interest, kissing him passionately.  I then saw myself standing several feet away, looking at them, watching them and feeling very much abandoned and very sad.

I started the first free CT at an 8.  I finished it with a 10.  I ran the second free CT and my emotional charge remained fixed at 10.  It seems I’ve discovered that I have the capacity to multi-task after all – tap and click to the click track, listen to Tim’s voice and keep the image of my ex-boyfriend very, very vividly in my mind.  So vividly that the longer I tapped and clicked and the more solidified my mind pictures became, the angrier and the more frustrated I got. 

I prefer the me that is terrible at multi-tasking.

Please let me know if PSTEC can help me confront this craziness that my mind is throwing up.

Thanks again.
Arnel

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Arnel…

Ok, first of all, the Free Basic CT's are not used to eliminate negative thoughts, but to neutralize whatever feelings or emotions you experience with a particular memory and/or imagined event.

Thoughts are actually conclusions, definitions… they are beliefs … and PSTEC Positive is used to shift beliefs and also behaviors.

Now, when you clear emotions, that can affect your beliefs and behaviors; but, there are circumstances where the beliefs stand on their own so to speak even without the emotions/feelings and, in fact, can continue to reproduce the emotional responses again.

So, when you mention negative thoughts, like:

I’ll never find anybody like him again
I’m never the one
They never choose me.  Ever.
What’s he doing now, who’s he with, and why did he have to turn out to be such a jerk?

There are all beliefs and are addressed with PSTEC Positive.

So, moving along with Level 1 that includes a couple more tutorials so you can gain an even greater understanding of how PSTEC works for you and it also includes the EEF's and PSTEC Positive… well … great choice!

One more general comment on your thoughts…
“deep, deep longing to be connected to someone else “

Do you see the limitations of this belief … of this “mind model?”

There is a desperation there that will put you in a position to accepts “just about” any relationship to fill that need.  Maybe not “any”; but that mind model will allow another relationship that is not empowering… not ideal for you.

Shift the mind model first… not just the emotions, but also the beliefs and behaviors … before you look to another relationship.

Malama Pono!
Jeff

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Arnel…

” I ran the second free CT and my emotional charge remained fixed at 10.  It seems I’ve discovered that I have the capacity to multi-task after all – tap and click to the click track, listen to Tim’s voice and keep the image of my ex-boyfriend very, very vividly in my mind.  So vividly that the longer I tapped and clicked and the more solidified my mind pictures became, the angrier and the more frustrated I got. “

The PSTEC Instructions are very, very important and Tim is very, very literal in terms of what you must do to be effective.  Every time I chat with an individual or work with an individual struggling with their effectiveness with PSTEC, it comes down to not quite following instructions correctly.

So, Good job on multi-tasking, but you are a bit off on what you are focusing on while running the tracks…

***IMPORTANT***
Let's first eliminate part of your multi-tasking…
DO NOT listen to Tim's voice while running the Click Track (CT) once he completes giving you instructions.  You DO NOT listen consciously to Tim… no need to as he is speaking to your subconscious.  After all these years, I still am not sure of everything he is saying… no need to.

Concentrate and Focus
There are 3 aspects to focus on while running the Free Basic Click Tracks or the EEF’s:

1. A memory or imagined event
Be as specific as possible … if your mind is wandering, take control and focus on one memory or imagined event at a time.  If you can't help the stream of memories or imagined events and thoughts, jot them down… exhaust them … then, pick one and start by running the CT and focusing on that one. When it's 0-1, move onto the next one, or maybe do 1 or 2 of those a day and work through it with ease.

2. TRY HARD to feel the emotion or feeling.  This is very specific.  Tim does not say to feel the feeling, but TRY HARD to feel the feeling.  Big difference!

Keep on TRYING HARD throughout the track.  The feeling may keep trying to fade and you just keep TRYING HARD to feel it.

3. Do your best to keep up with the tapping of your hands with the clicks and tones.

You don’t have to get it perfect, just TRY HARD to do your best.

Again, throughout the tracks, you are not listening to Tim past the instructions… just the 3 aspects above and let Tim talk to your subconscious mind.

Aloha!
Jeff

PS  If you find it difficult to sort out the various memories, feelings, beliefs, etc.; consider investing in a session or two with a practitioner from the PSTEC Registry

[avesraggianaPSTEC User]

Hi, Jeff!

I’m so glad I checked back on here, I just discovered your very informative and engaging replies.  Thank you for taking the time to address my questions.

You are absolutely correct about the necessity of shifting my mind model in regards to relationships.  It had been ten years between my ex-boyfriend and the ex-boyfriend before him.  I don’t give away my heart too easily or too quickly but when I do, it’s inevitably to the wrong man.  You very wisely described it as a “relationship that is not empowering”.

Believe me, I learned first hand through getting entangled with a narcissistic personality-disordered individual just how disempowering that type of relationship is.  And of course, I drew it to me because of my own limiting beliefs about relationships.

Thank you for your enlightened and enlightening reply.  I’m really looking forward to delving deeper into PSTEC and I’m definitely open to signing up for private consultations with a practitioner like yourself  in the future.

Have a great weekend!

Arnel

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Aloha Arnel!
Ah, I also know what you face in terms of your mind model.
I experienced this in terms of what I call, “My 2 1/2 divorces.”
After going through that, shifting my mind model and the miracle of shifting my perception, I am now married to a lady that, turns out, is far beyond even my wildest dreams… and I can be quite a dreamer! 

I have shared that story in Think and Grow Rich with PSTEC as one example not only of what can be manifested but also my dream of this wonderful lady that materialized in my Life experience.  So, TGR with PSTEC is not just about “rich” as in money, but in all aspects of life… step-by-step.

Carry on, Arnel… making cleaning and clearing your mind a priority, be patient, and watch your life transcend those previously “insurmountable” (and I use that word loosely) issues!!!

Malama Pono!
Jeff

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