Repeating

[SeratoBeatsPSTEC User]

Hey guys hope all is well

Continuing with PSTEC every day and continuing to see improvements!

Here is an issue im having

My mind seems to get stuck on repeating words phrases movie quotes etc.

I've tried tapping on any annoyance or frustration it brings but it seems like I do it all day. It's almost as if my mind gets bored and starts playing games. I notice when I'm engaged with things it's not really there but my mind has an impulse to “check” to see if im going to repeat the nonsensical words or phrases again and again. It's almost as if my mind has an impulse to keep checking to see if I'm going to repeat these behaviours.

I have a pretty big imagination and I know a lot of that has to do with it. I know this checking for words or thoughts is a behaviour. I tried positives having to do with allowing thoughts to flow or even trying to control thoughts.

Is there any statements I can use for these impulses? I don't have any form of ocd where I physically do checking. I mainly do mental checking and repeating.

I have this new line that I have taken from a movie that came out of nowhere last week and I've been repeating it a lot for over a week now. I haven't seen this movie in at least 6 years lol. It's like when I'm not doing anything or thinking my mind needs to be doing something to keep entertained. I did positives on being present and I no longer think or worry about the past or future and I am completely at present and it's almost as if since my mind has nothing to do it needs to do this.

Any advice on positive statements that might help?

[Peter BunyanPSTEC User]

Hi SeratoBeats
Good to hear you are still Clicking.
First! Imagination it is the language between conscious and subconscious, between emotion and logic, it is a two way thing. Also your mind never stops unless you are in a state of coma or worse. This leads to it filling in the quiet times when you are not fully engaged or focused on something else. Daydreaming or the “mind worms”. This is perfectly normal so nothing to Click on or Positive.
However your impulse to keep checking indicates an issue. This seems to me that you might be blocking out something worse in an OCD like way or procrastination, escaping something you are more afraid of, even if that is a fear of further boredom. Sort of a subconscious self-protection measure. This fear or trauma is perhaps what needs the Clicking.
Now for even more conjecture. The music and or video clips that make the mind worm have an emotional connection. Consider a romantic interlude or an action hero James Bond type sequence, these sorts of overdone hollywood basic appeal to some lack in our ordinary humdrum lives. The filmmakers art is to make us connect emotionally to their characters, the more connection, the better you like and remember the film. So no surprise that we “fill in” our quieter moments with some fantasy, again it seems normal to me, no clicking required. It is however the subject matter that you “repeat”that  might give a clue as to perhaps what you feel you lack in your life. this then is where PSTEC might help.
Over to you
Regards
Peter

[SeratoBeatsPSTEC User]

Well I'm a DJ so the music thing has always been apart of me. I've always taken music serious and had a passion for it.

The movie part however..

I used video games and movies as an escape when times were rough. I usually used it as a way of escaping reality and pretending to be the people in the movies. I guess I also even compared the movies a lot to reality and believed that life should be like the movies. I guess I had problems with my dad and I felt I never had a hero so I would search for someone who fit the description (some cool war guy on tv) and pretend to be him or mimic him. I've done this for as long as I remember. I don't seem to do this anymore but I do find myself checking a lot now, sort of testing or comparing myself to how I was before PSTEC.

I also had an obsession all my life to google everything. My whole life has been self diagnosing myself .. I have this I have that what if it's this what if it's that. I easily believe things. Not consciously but I find my mind is easily fooled. My mother told me as a kid I've always been curious and very trusting of other people. My buddy has told me times in the past I was naive, same as my mother I clicked on all of that and it seemed to help a lot I feel a lot more realistic and rational now.

I find myself repeating words that have no meaning, maybe I hear them somewhere or read them somewhere, words that have no meaning to me. My whole life has been trying to solve everything, figure everything out, find the answer to all of the things I do, over analyzing etc..

These have been problems for me. Things are getting better, there's the random times I get lost in my thoughts but things seem to be getting better the more I clear.

Procrastination has been the biggest issue for me my whole life. I don't know if it's add but I'm going to see a specialist within a couple weeks to give me some peace. I was always a restless hyperactive kid, highly intelligent but struggled with focusing and easily getting distracted. I was the class clown trying to make everyone laugh, disastrous desk and very forgetful. I knew tasks were important but I left them to the last minute settling for a c over an a or b. Whenever I was passionate about something like djing I would spend my life emersing my self in it while I blocked everything else out. My mind was never able to manage time. One thing I'm working on now, managing time, being productive, learning etc.

I find using positives on remembering things has helped a lot.

Sorry for the long drifting post!

[Peter BunyanPSTEC User]

To all other readers
Apologies this thread continued with SeratoBeats by pm as I felt the contents too personal. However hopefully he will come back soon with some good news.
Peter

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