Should I poke into painful triggers?
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- February 13, 2015 at 7:39 pm#21719requinPSTEC User
I'm using PSTec to — among other things — get past the pain of a previous breakup. I should mention that my goal is to get back w/ him or someone better than him. (The reason he broke us up is still unknown to me, but a large part of it was my insecurities, which I hope to get rid of w/ PSTec).
One thing that causes great emotional distress is looking at old texts he sent. Nice ones from pre-breakup as well as the ones post breakup where he stiff-armed my attempts to talk or get back together.
The pain these cause is so great that I won't even look at them enough to clean my phone of any texts!
So the question is, would it be a good plan to use these to trigger the negative emotions before I use the Click Tracks to rid myself of them?
Maybe this is a silly question..maybe the answer is obvious. Honestly I think I'm scared to look at those texts and bring on that pain!! But it might be a good test to see if PSTec works, eh? If I can later look at the texts and not feel that pain anymore, I'll know w/out a doubt that it works…
Thanks in advance.February 13, 2015 at 9:54 pm#24008Peter BunyanPSTEC User
It seems to me that you need to get clear in your own mind whether you want to get back together again or “its all over” and move on. Only you know what is best for you but one or the other. They seem to me to be mutually incompatible goals.
Yes the CTs could be used to clear negative feelings from those texts, again only if you feel that they are holding you back. If you go ahead then have the phone in front of you while running the tracks. The memories remain only the feelings linked to them go. But you would have to focus hard on the bad feelings as the CTs can remove the good ones as well. Emotions that might be called bittersweet I believe are part of life good and not so good, sadness is not the problem, but anger, bitterness and guilt are just plain not good.
The priorities I believe in terms of clearing emotions are any thing that makes you angry as it is such a destructive emotion then Guilt or blaming yourself for the break-up. These apply whether you want to get back together or not.
If you have not already done so I suggest that you download Wealth of Abundance from here and listen every night for a week (It is FREE). It is a hypnotic track by Tim which will help build confidence, forgiveness and self-love. All of which will help you achieve your goals what ever they are. This is a more positive way forward without poking into painful triggers which sound suspiciously like emotional self-harm.
PeterFebruary 13, 2015 at 10:56 pm#24009Peter BunyanPSTEC User
Forgot to mention another top emotion to get clear of is Jealousy, if present it's so corrosive.
Beyond those you mentioned “insecurities”. Behind all of these is low self-esteem, the “I'm not good enough/not worth it/everyone else is better” sorts of feelings. Look back in your life to any situations where you were made to feel that way. Particularly when you were young, it could have been your parents, siblings, relatives or teachers who said things to you, possibly on multiple occasions. It is not necessarily that they did not care for or love you it could be that they handled the situation/s badly for you. If you can think of such incidents then CT those. Self-esteem is a measure how how you feel yourself in relation to other people, but you cannot build it by knocking down others. The way forward is to value yourself more. Once you have dealt with the past, then Positives can be used to build self-belief.
PeterFebruary 14, 2015 at 10:53 am#24010Peter BunyanPSTEC User
Thanks for sharing and being so open. Sounds like you are getting on just fine and you're “gonna be alright”. Keep on Clicking!
Re “Commitment Phobia”. Fear of success is just as damaging as fear of failure, it is likely the subconscious doing it's protective thing by attempting to keep the status quo. Also likely is a low self-esteem issue “this is going too well, I don't deserve it” leading to self-sabotage.
Understanding helps lead to forgiveness both of self and the other, this being a part of “getting over it”.
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