Social Anxiety and Approach Anxiety

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  • #21780
    Avatarerfolgskompass
    PSTEC User

    Hey guys,

    this is the first thread in this forum.

    I came across PSTEC in August 2014 and it completely turned around my life.

    I am now a completely different person having done dozens or maybe even a hundred of click tracks.

    I also tinkered around with PSTEC negative and positive and it's just great, I gotta write a thorough story about my experiences. Because it improved my performance in sports, building a business and depression/suicidal thoughts as well as aggression.

    While PSTEC helped me a lot with my emotions and business, I can't get around to solving my social anxiety completely. Also I just can't solve my procrastination issues with it, for procrastination, CBT has a much better impact. But that will be another post.

    Being a computer geek I have had a very undeveloped social life in my youth. This changed during later high school and university. Even though I had a few girlfriends I was sometimes afraid – really afraid of women I don't know. Some other times, I got along with women I just met perfectly without fear. Quite weird… However, I am not meeting many women.

    In the past weeks I started doing a journal about exactly how and when I use PSTEC and with which affirmations. I found out this helps a lot.

    So I had a few very interesting situations.

    I started with the following PP and PN statements to solve my anxiety about meeting hot women.

    August 19, about a month ago:

    CT 2015 Short: a situation where I am afraid of talking to a hot girl I see on the street. from 10 to 0

    PN: it is my belief that people react negatively

    PP: people react positively when I talk to them

    August 20

    just doing CBT a couple of times.

    However, a very interesting thing happened, I was talking to my mom on the cell phone while a hot brunette walked past me. I told my mom that I will call her back, went up to the girl and tell her she is cute. She loves it, and asks me if we shouldn't exchange numbers, even though she has a boyfriend we should drink some beers together. I asked here why not just get a beer now. And she answers: ok and we went to a bar together. Unfortunately I lost contact to her.

    August 23

    CT 2015 Short: again fear about talking to a hot chick day before. 7 -> 1
    EEF 2: 1-> 0.25

    PN: It is my belief that I got not enough money.

    PP: I got enough money.

    August 26

    CT 2015 Short 2: Spoke to a woman, she answered: what, I said sorry 10 -> 0
    CT 2015 Short 1: Some weird situation with a chick I was texting some embarrassing stuff and the contact was lost. 10 -> 1

    PN: It is my belief that I am annoying

    PP: Beautiful women are eager to meet me.

    (got those from a different thread in this forum)

    August 27 -> THIS DAY MAGIC HAPPENED  ;D, but it was only temporary  :'(

    CT 2015 Short 2: Approaching a woman while I was nervous 10->0
    CT 2015 Short 1: About a date I had a few months ago where a chick invited me to her hotel room, somehow embarrassing. 10 -> 0

    PN: I am nervous when talking with hot women
    PP: I am calm and relaxed when talking with hot women

    and this totally changed my perspective on life! After those processes, I got really tired and needed to lie down. Got weird a feeling and positive thoughts.

    Then I got up again after 20 minutes and everything felt somehow different. Then when I got on the street, I could only think positively about anybody a saw. Even about the gypsies on the street.

    When I saw a hot chick, I didn't have any fear. Just the thought, she looks nice, she probably has a nice personality and other positive thoughts about her.

    Then the next days this feeling got stronger, when waking up I had positive feelings about anybody. I even thought that (being German) Angela Merkel is doing her best about the political situation and that she is such a great person, I couldn't even think badly about the politicians. How weird is that!

    I just thought positively about any person on the planet and that they were good to have so many people here, I felt totally fulfilled and that we were all a team on this planet earth. Very awesome feelings and thoughts. Like unification with everything.

    When going on the street, I could freely talk to women and felt no fear (or very little thats rather excitement).

    this feeling held on until… the feeling somehow got less and less every day, I also did the mistake of smoking some weed a few days later and afterwards it was totally gone.

    August 30+31

    Some stuff that's unrelated to women

    September 4 -> Interesting Day

    CT 2015 short 2: didn't talk to chick in subway I liked. 10 -> 1
    CT 2015 short 1: 1->0

    PN: It is my belief that humans are cruel
    PP: Menschen sind wohlwollend (which means approximately: humans are complaisant/benevolent)

    Later that day I went to a grocery store with a few friends, my friend told me: that hot blonde. I had the anxiety again, but after a few minutes I just walked over to her and said something, she liked me as well and she suggested we exchange numbers. I wrote a couple of messages the next day and met her shortly again on the day after. Quite interesting, we are still in contact, but both got little time.

    September 9

    Tried again the affirmations from August 27

    CT Long 1: want to see the woman again from September 4: 10 -> 0

    PN: I am nervous when talking with hot women
    PP: i am calm and relaxed when talking with hot women

    Afterwards, I didn't feel the shift as on August 27, even though something happened.

    September 13

    Listened to interview with meghan on social anxiety: http://pstecaudiosource.org/602/pstec-interview-meghan-saunders

    Did Tim's process from http://pstec-news.com/461/pstec-for-confidence-part-1

    CT 2015 Long 1: situation where I am in a club feeling bad and girls laugh about me. 10->0
    PSTEC

    CT 2015 Short 2: Imagine talking to woman not knowing what to say she laughs about me. 10->0

    PP1: I am calm and relaxed when talking to hot women
    PP2: The words just come to me easily when talking to hot women

    September 14

    EEF walking over street feeling lonely. 10->0

    September 17

    PP: I can create my reality by visualizing

    September 18

    PP: When I visualize I create my reality

    Again, this day I was visiting another city and went to a few clubs with a friend, he said I should go over to talk to those two, I didn't because I was afraid, he went over to them but they were not interested.
    We went to another club, I just saw two girls, just like my friend did in the club before I walked over to them, talked a little (5 mins), then didn't see them for an hour or so until I left.
    While leaving I spoke to one shortly, she gave me her number… and we are in contact since then and its quite personal as she even sent pictures over from herself.
    It's in a totally different city quite far away, but very interesting and I must have build up a lot of trust very quickly with her.

    September 20

    CT Long 2: some old memory from elementary school 10->0

    PN: It is impossible to seduce a new girl every week

    PP: I seduce a new girl every week

    Nothing happened so far because in the past days I have been working the complete time from morning until evening. (except gym, cbt, pstec and food)

    I had this very interesting feeling and experience on August 27 and the following days. I never felt something like it so strongly before in my life. Even though I had similar experiences.

    Spoke to a few friends about this experience.

    They want to feel that feeling permanently too.

    One has had a few situations in life where he felt like this. Everything went smoothly at that time. He said people where everything works their way feel like that.

    The other friend said that I was feeling absolute self esteem and self confidence.

    Btw I have done more Click Tracks in between the journal entries, I only wrote down the PP+PN sessions. Also I do CBT every day (missing it only a few days every month).

    What was that feeling from August 27?

    How can I get it back?

    Have you got any other suggestions to get rid of the approach anxiety permanently?

    Can it be that Weed and other drugs kill the results of PSTEC?

    #24291
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi erfolgskompass

    Thanks for sharing your interesting story and I am glad that PSTEC has helped change your life.

    Your problem of your relationship to women:

    You have done lots of PN and PP work but the problem is emotional and so the Click Tracks would be the first tool to use. Especially since the problem although changed, remains. My first suggestion is to use visualisation. Invent a future scene in which you meet a girl but it all goes wrong. She gives you a rude put down, turns around puts you down again to her girlfriends in front of your friends, laughs at you, makes you feel like a really small boy. You can choose for yourself the exact scene but make it the most hurtful thing that could happen to you. Replay this scene aver and over while running the Click Track of your choice.

    The next thing is that the problem was created when you were young. It could be your relationship with your parents and the way you were brought up. You were a “geek” it could be that you were apparently happy watching TV or playing on a computer and so it was easy for them to let you, but you might have missed out on your early socializing with other children. It might be one or many incidents at school where you encountered some particularly bossy girls who possibly abused you at least verbally. These are only suggested possibilities but these sorts of memories are targets to Click Track.

    The next point is if there is any sense of desperation within you it needs Click Tracking. This puts off girls faster than almost anything.

    You sound keen to get on with girls, is this driven by a sense of having to prove yourself or perhaps masculine inadequacy? These again would be areas to look at and perhaps find ways of Click Tracking. These are aspects of low self esteem created by the early years relationships mentioned above.

    Another aspect is lack of self love. Unless you can love yourself and be happy with the way you look, then you cannot expect others to. If you have not done so already download the FREE Wealth of Abundance hypnotic track this is about gratitude another aspect of self esteem and helps to rebuild it. It is another tool to add to your PSTEC toolbox.

    Your magical day August 27 sounds like euphoria this is a temporary blissful state. Probably due to to the changes in your brain brought about by the intense session you had previously done. You are doing quite a lot of work on yourself, give yourself a day off every now and then and allow the changes to settle down.

    Hope you find something out of the above helpful. Please keep us posted on how you get on. If you have any more questions again please get back to us.

    Peter

    #24292
    Avatarerfolgskompass
    PSTEC User

    Hey Peter!

    Thank you very much for the thorough reply.

    1) Ah, I didn't expect the problem to be the CTs – as I have done lots and lots of them before.

    Indeed, I have usually clicked past traumata away, but not used visualizations. Great idea!

    2) yes, actually PSTEC was the only tool that was able to remove some of the traumatas that are related to situations with abusive girls in school. I have already clicked some of those away and gonna look for more like that.

    3) ok, how can I remove desperation? But of course I sometimes feel desperate! Felt like it today, now after doing WoA its gonne.

    4) ok, I will look into that. Could of course be

    5) Interesting about self love and actually I like the way I look. Probably I need to look more into that but I don't think I got those problems.
    Thanks a lot for suggesting the Wealth of Abundance I tried it out yesterday and today and it is really great.

    6) ah ok, interesting. So as the brain changes I get intense feelings… but this was a really interesting feeling and I don't think it was just euphoria or a blissful state. it was definitely more… or are my brain and emotions playing games with me?

    #24293
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi erfolgskompass

    Have I got it right that the meaning of your forum name is “pointing the way to success”? Your English is far better than my German!

    1) CTs work but you have to give them the right target. The visualisation sets up the problem and your subconscious then connects the right emotions.

    2) Why were you a target for abusive girls? Were you an only child?

    3) Feel the desperation (visualise) and CT it.

    5)  Self love is more than the looks but being happy in your own skin, which is much the same as self worth and self esteem.

    6) Take a look at this wikipedia link on euphoria. Personally the most intense experience of this that I had was following taking a prescribed Homeopathic remedy, this for depression. Cannabis and LSD were nowhere near it (ancient hippy that I am). However I am a runner and have been for 40 years and a full on runners high is a rare thing but improvements in mood are common. There are studies which show that running helps with depression. So yes euphoria linked to brain changes but not predictable.

    Peter

    #24294
    Avatarerfolgskompass
    PSTEC User

    Hey Peter

    my forum name literally means “compass of success”, so you are indeed right.

    I have travelled a bit in the past, so couldn't write earlier and flying to Southeastasia in the next days. So it might take a while for me to reply to the next posts.

    1) I have now done a lot of visualization CTs and they help me indeed. Thanks for the suggestion, I am going to use them now more often to prepare my mind for future situations but also when I try to delete an emotion.

    2) Yes I am an only child. But I don't thing that this is the reason for being a target for abusive girls.

    3) I tried it using the EPIC for PSTEC process from Jeff, an old incident came to my mind I wouldn't have thought about. It is a situation in which I probably took over the desperation from somebody else.

    6) ok cool. yes, it was indeed a feeling like it. However I thought that drugs can't give you a feeling that you couldn't also feel without drugs. What do you think? shouldn't it be possible to get the best feelings just with the correct thoughts?
    Quite interesting about your homeopathic remedy. And your depression was immediately gone?
    Do you think you would have achieved this with PSTEC as well?

    I also tried out Wealth of Abundance. It is a very interesting audio. I have used it almost everyday in the past weeks since I read your reply.
    I have done my gratitude journal every day and since using WoA I can write it down much faster. Sometimes I just get a thought about how I should be optimistic about my life. For example that every day in the future will just be easier because of the experiences of the past.

    Btw, how does PSTEC compare with CBT?

    I think that CBT is a very useful tool to identify emotional/negative thinking and substitute it with thoughts that are not charged with negative emotions. It helps me think much clearer. PSTEC helps with that as well, but sometimes I have a feeling that using CBT works better than PSTEC.

    Do you think CBT and PSTEC are great when used together? Or could I achieve the same with PSTEC faster and just don't use it correctly?

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