We Live In the Light of Reflected Action – Freedom from Being Stuck in Life
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Scott LambertWoe! My parents resentment for others…This is an ah-ha moment for me!
I can understand how listening to, and watching my parents resentment of others has affected me. I thought I was separate from “their stuff”, however I can clearly see the influence their resentment for others has had on me.
You nailed it again Brian!
I've also recently discovered I have some very strong resentment for myself. Mostly in the area of not achieving my financial/business goals yet.
Brian TuckerScott – You will be amazed at what you pick up as a program that you only saw. e.g. If your father was nervous in social situations and you are also nervous in social situations this is very normal.
Often times we try to CT our feelings but what works REALLY well is to CT your father's behavior in social situations as far back as you can remember holding your feeling(s) of how he acted. Again – we live in the light of reflected action.
My dad spent a lot of time on the couch watching TV. So did I but I was on my computer. I CT him laying on the couch watching TV and the feelings I had being around him when he did that. Hey how about that I suddenly don't do it anymore. Same with chewing nails. My dad was a chronic nail biter. I did it a little bit. I just CT him doing it and how I felt watching him. Well how about that, I now use nail clippers.
Scott LambertThis is such an interesting approach Brian. I think there is a lot of potential in these suggestions. LOL, my dad laid on the couch a lot as well.
Great suggestions, I will definitely add them into my plan.
Brian TuckerScott – I'm a believer that most all of it goes back to the parents. I look back on my bullying now and realize I attracted/created/broadcasted (whatever word you want to use) all of it as a result of my dad teasing me. The bullying didn't come into play until maybe I was 7? though we all know dad was teasing as my earliest belief system was forming before I could even fully speak. It can simply be what you saw and the feelings (5 senses aka energy) you had behind it.
I had a behavioral conditioning to tease others myself – it's a form of defense against rejection etc – and had a tough time clearing it. It wasn't until I CT my dad doing the same thing to his friends did it easily collapse. A load of repressed anger came up with it as well.
I was clicktracking on an old girlfriend once and I could smell her Liz Claiborne perfume as I was doing it same for a few other girl's perfumes. Really surprised me again try to explain this to someone…
Paul McCabeGreat stuff, Brian.
I always appreciate your insights and how you have spotted so many patterns in your life. There are no coincidences here.
Sorry to hijack the thread!
So much does go back to early childhood experiences. Most parents do their best, but we are “meaning-makers.” As kids, we did not have the life experience to truly make sense of our lives, so were guided by parents, caregivers and peers.
If parents are overly critical, kids will likely form certain beliefs about the world and have a conditioned fear of criticism. If parents only praise when kids are achieving, beliefs like “what makes me good enough is achieving” are formed.
If parents are constantly working, and not paying attention to their kids, kids may likely conclude “I don't matter”, “life is a struggle” and “I'm not important.”
As adults, we can rationalise these experiences, but it can be very worthwhile to look back to how you would have felt as a child.
Scott, for the issue of not yet achieving your money goals, you can CT all resentment for yourself. Notice WHAT you resent and CT it.
There is no inherent “truth” here. Movie stars with fame and vast fortunes can hate themselves and life, while people in extreme poverty can and do feel good about themselves and see the wonder in life.
You can also look back at how your parents treated money and the way they subtly (or not!) communicated about money.
Did these type of phrases crop up?
“Money doesn't grow on trees”, “You have to work hard for your money”, “rich people are greedy”, “there is never enough money”
You can put those into the past tense and “blast” them.
Also, you might want to consider what was happening when you were younger. Were your parents ever laid off, or did they ever come home from work seeming frustrated or even downbeat? Subtle communications.
What you hit on about your parents resenting others could be pivotal. If they ever criticised people who had money or who were getting promotions, you can work with that. If ever you want to do something and wonder “what would my parents think/say?”, you can CT that.
Let's say you planned to earn a certain amount of money or go for a certain career, and you hear your parents say something like “don't get ideas above your station”, CT that.
All the best,
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
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Scott LambertThank you for your insight Paul. You bring up some interesting points.
Another layer of skin comes off the onion.
Thank, Scott
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