Weird permanent anxious pain in pit of stomach after CT

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  • #21680
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Hi guys

    First I just want to say that the CTs are incredible. I've been doing them for 2 days and I e released a lot of emotions with horrible memories and phobias created in the past

    One issue I've had on the 3rd day however

    Last night I did about 4 or 5 CTS in the span of 2 hours and I felt mentally drained. I understand that it's best to then gt rest after that

    Last night I could not sleep. I would fall in and out of sleep every hour and I got maybe 3 hours of broken sleep the whole night. Now I'm at work and feel horrible. The issue I'm having now is a constant turning pain in my stomach that won't seem to go away. It's almost like a permanent anxious pit in my stomach that is constantly there for no reason.

    I do have mild social anxiety. But I have always been outgoing and pretty confident around others I only seemed to be anxious in sexual situations with women due to an issue in the past which is what I used the CT tracks for.

    Is this normal? Will it pass? Was it a lack of sleep or did I maybe use the CT track improperly last night? I basically CT emotions last night of bringing anxiety and horrible feelings of failure for the past events and future. And as I've stated I now have permanent stomach butterflies (if that's what you want to call it)

    Any help or reassurance would be greatly appreciated!

    Thanks guys

    #23817
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    One thing I'd like to add

    Even though the negative feelings from the past regarding sex and women have been what you guys would call it, obliterated lol, I still find myself testing and thinking about it in the future. I want to just move on and not care.

    Do I need negative or is the positive power enough? The constant obsessing and thinking about performance are always on my mind although I am 100 times more confident now after the CT.

    What is the best way to go about this?

    I've CTd past and future emotions about it
    Failing and the feelings associated with it
    The feelings of being anxious with another woman in past and future

    I want to be able to tolerate uncertainty and not care about what might happen. I want to have a spontaneous mindset about sex. Not a duty to perform or to have an all or nothing approach to it

    I've been doing positive power but I'm not sure if I should go the ps negative root

    #23818
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Ok so apart from my first post ill go into detail of why I keep becoming stuck and maybe someone can tell me the best way to get through it

    I'm a constant worrier. I worry about the future. I have a horrible black and white thinking style mixed with perfectionism.

    This is where I continue to self sabotage and end up making myself feel like crap even though I love my life and everything is going well for me

    As I CT my past failures and got rid of the feelings of failures and anxieties being with a woman ( a girl never made me feel like crap I did it to myself because of my constant self harsh judgements) and low self esteem at the time

    I now am happy and accept myself even from before doing the CT.

    Now this is where the issue comes into play…

    I constantly have this doubt or worry that when the time comes to find a woman or go on a date with one and become intimate that I will be stressed and anxious and possibly not be able to enjoy being in the moment.

    Even though the past emotions no longer effect the present I always keep thinking and obsessing about the next time ill be with a woman if ill be able to cope or how my performance will be.

    I want to live life in the moment not caring what will happen and just accept whatever outcome is presented. But I find as I try to go about my day there's always the thought in my head that I have to be perfect. That I can't tolerate failure. That I have to be a great lover, satisfy her etc.

    It's a ridiculous belief that there's always a pressure on me. I can't just accept the uncertainty and except “who cares”

    Maybe it won't be like that when the time comes because things are different now but my dam all or nothing and perfectionist thinking hinders my ability to just live life without pressure

    What is the best way to overcome this so I can just move on with my life and not have to play these scenario is out in my head every day.

    This is why I'm wondering if I need to do a negative erase instead of just the positive affirmations

    Again I feel 100 times better clearing the emotions of failure and anxieties of intimicy but I'm still left with this issue

    Thanks again for all your time in reading this

    #23819
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi SeratoBeats…

    Last night I could not sleep. I would fall in and out of sleep every hour and I got maybe 3 hours of broken sleep the whole night. Now I'm at work and feel horrible. The issue I'm having now is a constant turning pain in my stomach that won't seem to go away. It's almost like a permanent anxious pit in my stomach that is constantly there for no reason.

    Difficult to tell without some assessment, but this is common when one uses the CT's and is not more specific.  For example, when you CT ONLY an emotion without focusing on a memory/imagined event, a physical reaction is possible, in part, because you're trying to “do too much” as once.  When focusing ONLY on an emotion, then you're basically instructing the subconscious to clear ALL memories/imagined events associated with that emotion and, as you can see, that would be quite a task.

    So, perhaps you did focus on a memory, but maybe it was not specific enough.  Or, maybe it was just a very, very strong emotional attachment.  Either way, what you can do is use PSTEC Positive to quell the physical feelings, such as:

    “When I clear emotions with PSTEC my stomach feels at ease”
    … or something along those lines.

    Even though the negative feelings from the past regarding sex and women have been what you guys would call it, obliterated lol, I still find myself testing and thinking about it in the future. I want to just move on and not care. Do I need negative or is the positive power enough? The constant obsessing and thinking about performance are always on my mind although I am 100 times more confident now after the CT.

    That is a matter of patterns and beliefs and behaviors.
    Keep choosing not to “care” by choosing ease and you will reinforce the new pattern of peace.  But, you can also use PSTEC Negative (PN) and PSTEC Positive (PP) to help along these beliefs and patterns… in other words, make it easier on yourself… see below…

    I constantly have this doubt or worry that when the time comes to find a woman or go on a date with one and become intimate that I will be stressed and anxious and possibly not be able to enjoy being in the moment.

    I would recommend using PN to erase any negative belief, but get to the core … ask yourself…

    Why do I belief that I will be stressed and anxious and not enjoying myself on a date?
    .. keep asking why until you get to a core belief or beliefs about who or what you belief you are.  Remember, long belief statement are probably the branches or leaves as Tim calls them and you will work more efficiently and quicker to get to the root or core beliefs with PN.

    When you run that/those negative core beliefs with PN, then follow up with PP, like this…

    “When I am intimate with a woman I feel calm and at ease”
    … or something like that depending upon your desire and how you wish to respond.

    Aloha!
    Jeff

    #23820
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Thanks a lot for responding Jeff

    If just like to say that the more I ct the more I am feeling free. It's almost as if I feel like a humble holy person. I had issues in the past with guys from high school giving me problems and I let it ruin me in high school even though I know deep down they were jealous of me at the time. A few days ago I didn't even think I carried emotions on it because I felt nothing while thinking back. After I ran the CT I kept bursting out into laughter trying to feel humiliated and bothered but I just kept laughing hysterically in my bed for 5 minutes. I went downstairs and my mother thought I was high hahaha. She's like ok what are you on? I followed up with a pp stating “I love, accept, and forgive myself”.

    No word of a lie the very next day when I woke up it was the best morning of my life. I felt free, happy and joyful.

    Throughout the day I felt like ghandi and still do. I am treating my sub now like my best friend. Not fighting it, putting it down or forcing it. The more I do this the happier I feel and the more responses I get from it. It's beautiful. In turn this teaches me to love myself as the sub and conscious are one which in turn boosts self esteem and all around feelings. I am on a permanent “high”. Laughing at everything feeling love and joy and 0 social anxiety in public.

    I just want to thank pstec from the bottom of my heart for finally introducing something that works. Not just as a temporary fix but as a complete mindful outlook shift. I  seriously debating getting into psychology because the more and more I'm understanding how the sub works and reacts the more I can love it, harness it, and use it to solve issues instead of putting it down when all it wants to do is protect me. The first thing I did was forgive it, acknowledge it, and thank it for trying to keep me safe. I do this throughout the day. And as I do this I continue to keep my mood peaceful and encourage myself to talk positive towards myself. You are right about not forcing it but being gentle. Abusing it causes harm, both physically and emotionally I notice. I also notice the brain recalibrating because there are times when my mind tends to go into a funk but automatically without me consciously doing anything and just detecting it doing this instead of fighting it, it slowly goes right back to rational thinking.

    Again thank you so much!

    Now on to the issue I posted lol

    Everything in my life is great. The reason I am having the permanent anxiety in the stomach which I have never had before is as you said. An emotion brought to surface. You see the only thing that's holding me back is the issue I posted above.

    My subsconscious spoke to me today and I listened. And I fully understand it all now. I do not have a fear of intimicy, I never did. By avoiding it sure i created a phobia but that is easily CTd unlike any other uncomfortable situation.

    I believe the core issue is the baring of shame. With this comes issues.

    In the past I had a poor performance with the only woman I ever cared about. I took it bad as it had never happened before. What made it worse was her making a comment to her best friend, got back to me bla bla. Then I heard another comment about something else Ann all the emotions came down on me like a ton of bricks. The biggest was shame, and the second was betrayal. Since that time I was never the same. Never felt comfortable around women. As this happened it was bad performance after bad performance. It got worse and worse. I couldn't trust myself and I couldn't trust women. I have yet to allow myself to get anywhere close to another woman since then. I have this massive guard up because I simply cannot trust women. It's like I created a hatred toward them but that was only me feeling worthless deep down. I dispised other friends that could be so relaxed and care free with women while I suffered in shame. I went through depression and all that jazz.

    Here I am today out of the dark place I was in feeling love and happiness for myself with only this obstacle to overcome. This fear of women, being hurt, the shame that's still burried inside. I've wasted enough time CTing all the physical aspects (anxiety and nervousness) of sex and the “night of”. This is all clear and the anxious feeling is there every time I think of the entire thought of women and everything that comes with it although it leads me to believe that CTing merely the symptoms is irrelevant. It's good they are cleared but it isn't the cause. The cause is the general feeling of shame. The shame and sadness from betrayal and the poor performance.

    My question is how on earth do you even begin to CT shame. It's one of the only emotions you cannot feel for anyone but yourself. It is the worst of all. I don't fell shame at all just the symptoms. I find it easy to feel anger or laughter but when it comes to feelings such as shame I don't even know how to force that into the CT. I remember the memories perfectly I just can't force the shame it just dosnt make sense to me. I know that feeling the feelings are irrelevant you just have to know what you felt at the time and try hard to feel it, but again how do I force out this ridiculous emotion. Do I whimper? Do I try to feel sad?

    This is where I am having the issue.

    Also, do you think once the feeling of shame from all this is completely freed the rest of the emotions will slowly crumble and shift beliefs? Such as beliefs about not being able to trust women and be comfortable around them?

    Again thank you so much for everything

    #23821
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Hey Jeff

    Bingo!

    Core belief = I am bad. I have turned all my anger inward my whole life. Feeling inferior to everyone and being critical. My dad was hard on me my whole life and I just took his crap and directed it at myself. Worst part is that it isn't bottled up anger, it's anger toward myself. I put pressure on me my whole life, never thought I was good enough.. It started with my ex that night and breaded shame. I felt worthless. I wasn't good enough for myself so how could I be good enough for women? I blamed myself and angered myself for my poor performance. Put more pressure on myself. Put my self into a depression. I speak to my friends a out my sexual issue and they all laugh. They laugh because they said its 100 percent normal and find it Ludacris how it could have affected me all these years. It did because my reality was warped. I was my own worst critic. All this anxiety I am feeling that I told you about is all inward anger begging to be released. When I CTd sadness and attempt at shame my breathing sky rocketed. Then the anger surfaced. I tried it when CTing my dad. I cried before the CT and felt the worthlessness of being a failure and not good enough. As I CTd with the sadness of a bunch of scenarios I put myself in with him I immediately started to become angry. When I finished CTing I was furious. I was angry at him, not hateful but angry. I put on my anger face and growled. Pictured him yelling at me and me standing up to him and becoming enraged. When I was finished, I laughed. I looked at a picture of him that I looked at prior of when I cried and I did nothing but laugh.

    I went to work today and hesitantly but non shamefully told my buddy a out the problem and he laughed at how he goes through it all the time with women. He even told me times where girls made snickering comments to him and he laughed at them and bounced the comments right back.

    So then it hit me. I laughed,  but I didn't feel shame inside. I felt anger. Anger that's been bottled up. Anger that I directed inward at myself all these years a out women and about everything. Shame bred anger and instead of releasing it I used it as an attack to my self esteem. That's where the pattern stems from. I obsess and worry about sex because I am not good enough. I didn't let out that anger of failure I turned it inward and called myself a failure and I've been a perfectionist ever since. Trying to please people and be perfect. I knew this already but I didn't know how to go about it. I didn't know this was the core belief and its been staring me in the face for so long.

    I am going to CT this anger I had toward myself and release it. I am going to CT myself being angry at the performances, at women, at everyone I ever allowed to do harm to me that I let anger me.

    I don't know how long this will take with all these years of this mind model but I can see the change already happening as I've allowed the subconscious to speak to me

    I will keep you posted

    #23822
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Mahalo for sharing, Serrato…

    Ah, CT shame?  Simple … just imagine a memory or future imagined event… what would shame you?  Would it be approaching a woman and asking to spend some time together… maybe a woman that you feel would be “out of your league” and she actually does reject you… maybe even “smirks” a bit?  Does that person looking down upon you make you feel “down?”  Or, maybe it's not being successful at something; maybe with alot of people or someone in particular watching and critiquing.  Whatever it is, imagine it, TRY HARD to feel shame and CT.

    Remember, don't “force the feeling into the CT”… you don't have to feel the feeling; that's not part of the instructions.  Just TRY HARD to feel the feeling… much different from actually feeling it.  It's ONLY about TRYING HARD to feel it.


    ” he goes through it all the time with women. He even told me times where girls made snickering comments to him and he laughed at them and bounced the comments right back. “

    Do you also see the anger in that response… the attack?

    If someone criticizes me, I will do it right back at them!
    That type of response is because we are attached to the emotion… attached to the belief that someone else affects my self perception… affects my life.
    There is no peace there… no Truly … there is still a harbored grievance and while it may SEEM like it's healthier, it's not… only more subtle which makes it more difficult to recognize and correct.

    But with that said…

    You're on a good track there with the anger toward others, of course…we usually see that first … but also looking to let go of the anger toward self… well … that's a huge move.

    Keep the faith… be willing to do whatever it takes (it seems you are) … and that light in the far, far distance will turn out to be more imminent than you believe right now… you are almost there!

    Malama Pono!
    Jeff

    #23823
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Hey Jeff all is going well

    I decided to go all the way back to high school and do memory by memory as I see fit. For each emotion I try to feel the feeling of fear anger toward the people shame humiliation etc.

    I feel absolutely no emotion for the situations once all cleared but once I've cleared them I get emotions of anger in the present that I let that happen. I don't know if its a feeling of feeling more in control now that the emotions from those memories are gone or if its just anger I need to get rid of.

    I don't feel like breaking things or really beating myself up for it it's just a matter of feeling more confident now that it's gone. I feel stronger and more like a man. Maybe I just haven't felt like that in a while?

    What is honestly the best way to to get rid of a bit of anger for not standing up for yourself in the past once the emotions are cleared (if that's what the feeling really is?)

    I kind of feal like rocky right now staring at fear in the eyes. Maybe it's a feeling of confidence? I do know I have a lot of anger built up from never standing up to my dad which I haven't gotten to yet, maybe it's re directing those feelings to other parts of my life?

    #23824
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    “I get emotions of anger in the present that I let that happen”

    Appears to be anger at yourself … imagine that younger “you” allowing that to happen and TRY HARD to feel anger toward that younger version and CT that.

    Also, imagine never standing up to your father, maybe for something in particular he did, how TRY HARD to be angry at yourself and CT that.

    So, again, just imagine what you did “wrong”; TRY HARD to feel angry at yourself and CT those.  You may also look at past failures in the same light (or darkness) when you feel angry, shamed, guilty, etc. (any non-JEEP emotion) and CT those to allow full and unconditional forgiveness for yourself.  Feel compassion for self in the same way you wish to be compassionate for others… you are not the exception, you know.  :D

    Aloha!
    Jeff

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