Reply To: What order should I work on
First, let's cover your questions…
When running the click tracks how hard are you supposed to tap?
It does not matter how hard, just that there is movement when appropriate from the right hand, the left hand and both together. The heaviness of the tapping will not improve nor detract from your results, well, unless you get more tired from the intensity. One of the points about tapping is that when tapping with both hands, tap them rapidly.
Also it can be harder to bring up the emotions deliberately, is it best to run the tracks when I am in an emotional state(which happens many hours everyday), or is it as effective to run them on tap?
I don't know what you mean by “or is it as effective to run them on tap?” But, as far as the emotions, it's not important that you feel them; it's important that you try as hard as you can to feel them during the CT's… many people will feel them, but that is not important… again, it's only important to TRY REALLY HARD to feel the feelings.
during the click tracks as I focus on my emotions I can get into a meditative state. Should I switch off my conscious mind and guide my sub so that it really tunes into the emotion or should I let my conscious mind try really hard to feel the emotion? With the former I sense a calmer but purer connection with the emotion, but with the latter my emotional state is more distressed during the click track…
Working with the PSTEC tools is not a zen, relaxing type of process. When it's time to relax, use your meditation… when it's time to clear emotional issues with PSTEC, it's time to focus. working with PSTEC takes concentration, hence the difficulty and special attention needed when working with small children. When running the CT, you are using your conscious mind to focus on the memory/imagined event AND trying hard to feel the emotion/feeling while at the same time doing your best to keep up with the tapping to the clicks and tones.
Do not try and add your own twist with Tim's Tools… he is very specific and literal with the instructions. So, there is nothing about shutting off your conscious mind, in fact, there are several things for the conscious mind to do during the CT.
One additional note on your list of issues… for the most part, those are quite general… you want to find specific memories to focus on during the CT while you try hard to feel the feeling and in your list I see no memories, per se. So, for example, when you say, “I was 18 and thought potentially my whole life was ruined”… when did this happen? Was there a particular time and place and why did you think that and how do you feel about it? You see, your statement is more a state of being or belief and the CT's are used only for emotional issues.
Does that make sense?
If you are having trouble accessing the memories and “it's hard to get the initiative to bring issues up”; please consider getting a practitioner to help you through or at least get you past those tough points.