Reply To: Agoraphobic no more! :D
Jeff HardingAloha All…
Mahalo Liz, Meghan and others on this thread… I appreciate the participation, the excellent points and the support for Liz… Maika'i ! (Excellent!) That is what we are here for… to help those that show up here because, let's face it, we are in this together. And, if we believe we aren't, then that's definitely not a path to peace… to J.E.E.P.
My sincere gratitude to Liz for coming on here and sharing because there are so many possibilities for anyone coming through here… someone will get energized, motivated to follow in her footsteps … someone can get just enough of a faith boost in themselves to persist and finally transcend their issues… therapists, practitioners, etc. may learn that one little (or many) perception that they can apply with their clients, thereby, helping more and more to become free.
So, Mahalo nui loa Liz… for the courage to stand your ground in becoming more free and for sharing the details about your journey through this… this is priceless!
Here are some thoughts I have about Liz's journey of pulling herself out of that terrible situation of being “imprisoned” in her own life… I guess that's the point … she did pull herself out of that. Sure, I guided her along a bit, but if she was not willing… not persistent … not practicing faith in herself … then no amount of therapy, expertise, guidance or help of any kind would move her along.
Tim says it quite often that you have to want to become clear of the barriers … you have to want the cure or healing.
Some may look at Liz's experience and say something along the lines like “that takes too long” or “it's too much work” or “maybe she can, but what's to say I can?”
When it comes to the fear of it taking too long or being too much work …
You know what causes us to take more time to get clear of the barriers? Our unwillingness to let go of it 100%. The more we resist, the longer it takes. As Liz pointed out, one of the aspects of her issue was the anger and that was one issue that was tough for her to visit. Anger, quite often is, because we judge or are taught to judge harshly those that lose control in their anger. Most of it was at herself, but our mind model that comes up with anger as a viable and rational resource was given to us at a very young age.
I was chatting with Tim and when it comes to agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks; it seems that, quite often, there is anger to some degree that is a part of the problem. Realize too that with these types of issues, they are seldom straight forward and, most times, supported or caused by many memories, beliefs, behaviors and even perceptions. So, be patient as you work through these types of issues.
Also, be sure to look at the anger issues… be open and honest with yourself and then use the CT's on the anger… the memories, the people, yourself … all aspects … just let it go and forgive all, especially yourself… you deserve it!
When it comes to the fear that Liz could do it but you can't …
Well, you know, Liz felt the same way for quite a long time and also during the time she was letting go… and letting go… and letting go … of what seemed like an endless stream of memories and feelings … she too felt the same way from time to time.
You know what she did?
She persisted and she listened when I guided her through the rough patches. Did she always do what was most effective? You know, results are all that matter … so, in my view, her actions were and are perfect.
But, again, she would lose “most” of her hope from time to time… hey, we all do, right? No earth shattering news there. But, each time, she would pull herself up a bit, get working again and continue.
THAT's what matters… she kept going at it.
So, the difference between someone like Liz “getting it done” and someone not getting it done, is merely the persistence and faith in self.
That's it.
And, you know what? THAT is merely a decision you make from moment to moment to moment.
Make the decision to keep moving forward and to believe that the answers will come… that you will find freedom and J.E.E.P. and… you will!
Mahalo once again Liz and everyone on this thread!
Aloha nui!
Jeff
PS Oh, about happy endings … sure those are nice, but, you know what the most joyful part about this is for Liz? She has developed priceless life skills in letting go of barriers and reshaping her mind model! An incredible accomplishment because of her obstacles, but also very handy because if you want a full and joyful Life, you stay on your ABC's… Always Be Clearing.