Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection
Peter BunyanHi Rhossie
The father in me wants to give you a big hug, the professional therapist says that it might not be appropriate. But hey! Since we are on opposite sides of the atlantic, just imagine that I have. 
Feeling overwhelmed might just be another thing to CT on.
You cannot change the past only the way you feel about it. Can you now look back and say to your self “OK that was the way it was, but that was then, now I want to focus on the now and look forward to a brighter future”. If you can, then job done! Can you do that yet?
You do not need anything to be happy, it is not dependant on getting or achieving anything. it is more of a way of looking at the world, glass half full, not half empty. You already have cleared away a lot of emotional drag-weights, that is something in itself to be pleased and happy about.
The fact that you notice your own self-talk means that you can change it, you can talk back. First notice the negative talk then put it on hold; “hey hold on there, I don't want that, I want to be happy, I choose to be happy” Remember a time when you were happy even if it was only briefly, feel that time again, then “I was happy, I can be happy again”.
Hope you get what I am on about.
Since this is the PSTEC Forum, do you have the Positive or Level 1 package that includes the Positive? If you haven't then you might find it helpful at this stage.
Peter