Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection
Hi Peter, thank you for that nice thought. I do appreciate it!
I'm having a hard time making enough time to CT on everything I want. I have my work, and I want to spend time with my friends and my boyfriend too. I think it was contributing to my feelings of overwhelm.
I feel like I also put other people's needs above mine which is making it hard to put time aside to CT. That's not a good thing because I know no one else can take care of me other than ME! I can get assistance but ultimately it's up to me to use the tools and guidance to help myself.
I definitely still have things in the past that I need to let go of so I can move forward. My friends who know I've been having a hard time lately have said the same things you've said Peter, “You can choose to be happy now no matter what!” but a lot of times I feel like I don't even KNOW how to be happy so I have no choice. However I know that's not true! I can remember being happy while watching certain movies, or playing certain video games, or spending time with certain people. I know it makes no logical sense but that's what it is.
However, I'm still trying to tell myself, when I start to get down, “This isn't helping me and I would rather think of happy thoughts instead!”
I do have the Level 1 package with the positive tracks. I was unsure if I was ready to start using it and also I'm just not sure about how to word positive statements. I'd like to put out a suggestion to my mind to believe in the nice words my friends say to me. Or to be able to make some progress in putting my own needs first. Or even better, a statement to just love myself, so I can generate love for myself without having to always get outside reinforcements. I deeply feel like if I was able to do that, SO many of my current problems would be easier to deal with! I've felt like that for a long time, even before PSTEC, but I couldn't figure out how I could change my negative thoughts and beliefs. Thinking about using PSTEC Positive makes me feel happy and hopeful that I can do just that.
Would a statement for giving myself some love be something simple like this?:
“Starting right now, I will fully love myself with kindness and compassion.”
Or would it be better if I just try to start with getting myself to think happier thoughts like:
“I can let happy thoughts easily pop into my mind at any time.”