Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection
Peter's suggestion of the Accelerator is always a good one.
Also, ask yourself a couple questions and see what comes up for you…
- Who are you feeling hurt from? The girl that took your place or Michael… or someone else… what about the teacher?
- What part of the memory is most intense… her taking your place or Michael not acknowledging you or something else?
- Do you feel any anger that you are not willing to acknowledge?
- Are there any other memories or “scenes” that come to mind that conjure some of the same thoughts and feelings… before or after that?
[/list]The memory with Michael and the girl may have more than one component of the memory that you might try CT'ing separately. Also, as you have seen, there may be multiple emotions and you might have to CT them separately as well.
With such a pivotal memory, you may have to sort it into pieces first … you know, divide and conquer kind of thing.
Also, look for other memories that are “supporting” that one as well. Sometimes you have to deconstruct more than one memory.
Give that a try.
If you feel completely stuck on it and cannot go further, you may just need someone to help guide you on this memory/issue and it would be well worth the investment … an investment in you. Check the PSTEC Registry if you need that type of help.
Hello Jeff, thank you for replying!
I do use the Accelerator and I find the relaxation tracks very helpful. I usually use them before I go to sleep.
Lets see… I was able to tap down most of that memory and the aspects/feelings of that memory down to 2s, 1s, and 0s. I think the most hurt came from Michael and the fact he didn't seem to react how I wanted him to in that situation.
I didn't think there was any anger with this memory but suddenly I got a thought/feeling in my head of feeling guilty for having anger. And I suddenly felt relief acknowledging that I felt guilty for having anger! I feel angry at especially the girl who took my place. It's strange, since I can't even remember her name at all.
I'll definitely sit down and CT on that anger. It's not as intense as the sadness and fear but I'd still rate it at least a 7.
I would love to use the PSTEC Registry for a little extra help but there isn't anyone in my area who uses PSTEC. I'm in the EST and I also work at night so that makes a bit more complicated. I'll keep that in mind though. Thank you for your guidance, both of you.