Reply To: My ultimate fear: rejection

#22835
AvatarRhossie
PSTEC User

I just wanted to drop another update… I CTed on that bit of anger I talked about. When I sat down to CT on it, I actually felt it rise to about a 9. Afterwards, and still now, the memory is MUCH lighter, I feel like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders!

I decided to sleep on it to see if it was really gone. I woke up this morning and thought about that memory of Michael, the girl, the teacher… And it still felt light. No heavy feelings although I do have to admit, I feel a small worry that maybe those heavy feelings will come back if I think about this memory again. I plan on coming back to it in a few weeks. I've decided to keep a log on my laptop on memories I've CTed on and how I feel about them, this thread is helping me to sort out things too. It's nice to share my story and hoping it'll help other people out.

I was able to write in my notepad a list of memories that I feel are connected with my current issues having to do with some bullying, feeling left out of my social groups as a child, and issues with family members too. I think I might have to go back and CT on some other memories I posted about in the thread, relating to my dad/mom, because Jeff's comment about anger that's not being acknowledged hit a chord in me. I do find that I suppress anger because of a fear of being seen as a bad person for being angry… Even if that anger is justified!