Reply To: Tangled web, where to start?

[diamondgoddess!PSTEC User]

Hi!

I think both Peter and oz are doing a LOT of projecting here!
I am hardly going to apologize/defend/explain my very real accomplishments and the accompanying financial success I've had, or how I care to enjoy it.

And this has been in spite of the large amount of PTSD I've had to contend with!

I even act in Hollywood movies!  My resume, and diamond collection , are something I am very proud of.  I think you're trying to make something “neurotic” about investing in beauty that only gains in value.  (I have plenty of other reasons for the jewels, but don't feel safe mentioning that now.)

The money and diamonds (when it's flowing!) are a natural EXTENSION of my good feelings about myself, not a way to patch a hole, but we can disagree about that.

I am hardly going to “ratchet back” my desires to make anyone else comfortable.  I am asking for help in continuing to get my power back (again!) so I can get back to using all I have going for me to succeed, since as I mentioned, I've already experienced that.

By the way, you guys are acting out my “stuff” for me, LOL!, acting like there's something “wrong” with my achievements and the material enjoyments that come along with that.

Is the Forum only for people who've never experienced/enjoyed success and money?

Oh, and my dad never “forced” me to look at him when he was drunk and yelling.  He just needed an audience, he needed to see someone in front of him to yell.

Your other points are well-taken.  I get triggered by the memories.  Yes, I feel very angry.

Thanks for the lively debate!!!  And for the chance again to “hold my own” with people. 
DG!