Reply To: Tangled web, where to start?

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November 7, 2012 at 1:50 am#23018
diamondgoddess!
PSTEC User

    Oh, MANY continued thanks, Peter and oz!!!

    Thanks also for the opportunity to look at MY projections.  :)

    And yes, Peter, forgiveness may be the “missing piece” here  at this point, along with clicking on the fear of consequences of my abundance.

    The thing that has been interesting to me from the beginning about my PSTEC journey is that I was getting these amazing shifts initially in clicking on specific events of “Dad yelling”, specific things “Dad said about money”, etc.  I could get them to a 0-1 pretty quickly.  BUT there was STILL a lot of “residual PTSD tension” in my jaw, tongue, upper body, etc.

    Do I need to go back and re-click this stuff again?

    There was always a split from the beginning between how fast I can reduce the intensity of the specifics, and this lingering tension that remains.

    Just like I had wonderful shifts yesterday, and today, not so much!  (LOL!!!)

    And yes, I have wondered if I am too hard on myself, ambition-wise;  but I have Capricorn Sun at the Midheaven and Taurus Rising, so success really IS “my birthright”  *wink* :).  oz, your thoughts on this about dealing with the fear of success AND failure are very good!  Finding a loving balance with it wouldn't diminish my abilities or results, AT ALL, and I see that now, thank you!  (Maybe this “downtime” is an opportunity to “love myself anyway” regardless of career and $$$ more.)  It could free up some energy for my goals.

    I have an interview for a photo shoot on Friday (yay! :)) and I totally get the idea that if you “throw enough paint at the wall. some will stick”.  It is a mystery how the Universe works, and just showing up doesn't guarantee being hired, but it is energy in the direction of my goals.  Just like you said, oz, that PSTEC is part of this, maybe not directly.

    (BTW–at some point a few years ago, auditioning got really easy and fun for me to do!  LOL!!!  Not scary at all.  I don't give my power away to them.  So much for PTSD, lol.  Interesting paradox!)

    I also need to take into account the economy and the fact that I needed a rest after an incredible career/$$$ expansion before the recession.

    THANK YOU!!!  I REALLY appreciate it!
    XXXOOO!
    DG!