Reply To: Newbie User Hitting Plateau.

#23517
AvatarSargeMaximus
PSTEC User

I'm afraid I'm back with more plateau stuff.

Recently I've found that while the relief from external issues is instantaneous, it only lasts so long before people seem to “figure it out”, and hone in on my weaknesses, trigger them, and I'm back to square one.

Example is at work I've been working on my perfectionism. Part of it is the feeling of letting people down, not being worth anything, stuff like that. Anyhow I CT on my feelings of inadequacy, need to be perfect, and the aversion to people pointing out my mistakes.

I then go along for a few hours in a day with making no mistakes at all. Then I make a few (which happens) and people point it out and I don't react the same way. It's like I'm free! But then, the reactions to my mistakes get stronger. Instead of just being ticked off or angry, people begin yelling. I ct my feelings that come up, next day, make some mistakes, people begin THROWING things because of it. It's like it escalates. Why would this be? Am I not hitting the problem directly or is this normal?

If it's normal, I'm not sure I want to continue for fear of more extreme stuff happening.

This phenomenon happens in ALL areas I CT in. The initial relief and change is instantaneous, but then, as if by some kind of guided-missile system, I am “found out” by the forces that be (people's intuition, my own subconscious, or other things seemingly out of my control) and triggered even harder than before.

Not only are the external reactions more and more extreme, but so are my emotional reactions to them. Instead of just being afraid or self critical as in the case of my perfectionism, I begin feeling guilt and shame. I even approached burn out just recently which has never happened to me before!

This is by far the biggest obstacle I've encountered aside from not knowing what to target. It's like there's a universal conspiracy to keep me in some area which I assume is subconscious, but the external factors are puzzling as well.

Help on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.