Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
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Just going back to one of your recent posts…
Regarding the issue you raised about the anxious feelings you get when thinking about helping people:
2 points on this….
1) It could point to a behavioural or emotional pattern. A pattern of behaviour, emotion or thought is typically linked to several beliefs or conditioned responses. Peter is correct that wanting to help people is very commendable in itself, but it is worth eliminating this compulsion if it's causing you stress. With emotions removed (Click Track these first by eliciting the anxious feeling you experience when you feel you HAVE to help someone).
2) There is an aspect to all of our characters – patterns we run, feelings that we elicit, and even personas we take on – that are run by beliefs. I've heard that the obsessive need to help others (a Martyr complex) is linked to a need for approval. Someone who would “run this pattern” may not have felt good enough or worthwhile, but then earned praise, acceptance or plaudits when helping people. Thus, I would suggest that two beliefs you may wish to consider testing and then eliminating would be “what makes me good enough is having other people think well of me” and “what makes me good enough is helping people.”
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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