Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
Peter BunyanThanks guys for such a great thread. It is good to have a real conversation. It is what a Forum should be about! If this thread has wandered off-topic then I apologize for not having alerted Jeff sooner and not asking him to split it into shorter more manageable threads.
Tomas and Paul
Re; time pressure and overwhelm. These are signs of low self esteem and lack of confidence (same thing). A confident person is able to manage time and prioritize tasks because they have a plan or goals, they know what they want to do, need to do. Which works the other way round as well, managing time and prioritizing make them more confident.
Paul: Yes it is another thing to PSTEC, thanks for pointing it out. Your contributions really are much appreciated.
Tomas: “I don't have enough time”. This is clearly a negative thought, you can Click Track that feeling and PN it and or… I said to you about PSTEC and Mindfulness “that you just found yourself thinking. ” I can't do….” >>”if others can do it, so can I” (repeat the positive a few times to really emphasize it).” Well “I don't have enough time” is a prime example/target. This thought can occur at all sorts of times when you really do not have enough time to “PSTEC” it. So here using the principles explained in PSTEC and Mindfulness you must develop the habit of saying to yourself “STOP!” >>” I really do have the time for the things that are most important to me” “I can choose to do the things I need to do first”. Every time you catch yourself thinking “I don't…” “I can't…” say to yourself “STOP!” This gives you the breathing space to follow it with the positive, (and repeat the positive a few (say 5) times). This is creating a new “bolt on” habit/belief which changes and eventually overwrites the old negative one. It takes no hardware and not much time, use PSTEC to re-enforce it when you do have the time.
You are the person that changes you. You might allow PSTEC to assist, it is a set of tools to help, but PSTEC is an agent or an accelerator of change it does not do it for you. PSTEC helps you, put yourself in control of your life.
When using multiple PSTEC tools in succession then I suggest working on one negative aspect at a time. This in order to make a real difference in a short space of time. Making a difference quickly is a confidence booster. This has a wider positive influence. PSTEC tools were designed to be self-user and so kept as simple as possible, they tend to work best with a narrow focus on one simple thing at a time. So yes… keep the session to one emotion/belief but OK for multiple memories if tied to the same emotion.
Peter