Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
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Been 20 days since my last post. I have being running PSTEC emotional clicktracks a few hours a day. I have also been running the “no more anger” package along with a few anger related packages for 30 days now.
Since I have been running the anger tracks, it seems that the anger has diminished considerably in all aspects of my life. As a result of this, it seems to have revealed the true “feelings” fear etc that they have been protecting me from. This weekend I spent two days @ 6 hours a day running PSTEC on these various feelings. I went through a very painful first day as it seems so many emotions that have been swirling around in me for several weeks, suddenly came and hit me all at once, but the first day I just kept going and going until it was all “gone”. At this point, I was emotionally numb. I even felt as if I was having symptoms of being physically sick. I kept reminding myself that regardless of what was happening to me, it was not real and that I was on the verge of a massive breakthrough. That night it all came back so strong it work me up though I was able to hold on for a few hours until such time I was able to spend a several hours working on all of it again.
These feelings seemed to be what was under the fear that kept moving through my body. I will say that they all were associated with rejection that I experienced nearly a year ago to the date. It seems my body created a conditioning of anger to protect me from all of it and once the anger was cleared through the use of the other tracks, I was able to feel the true feelings that were in so many similar but different flavors.
All I can say is, today everything that I was concerned or worried about in my life has no meaning to me and does not affect me or influence me in any way on so many emotional levels I can't even list it out. All of the 40+ items which I have been working on for the last two weeks has collapsed all at once and the result is wild.
There are no words to describe how powerful this feels to have a conversation at work, with my kids or other people and have ZERO negative emotions involved to influence the experience. People say things that are purely literal to me, I have full power to give it whatever meaning I want with zero ego influencing me with negative self meaning.
I will share that when I first was looking for something like PSTEC, I had this thought of finding some sort of “tool” that could make a person emotionally resilient, along the lines of some top secret DoD tool that could be used to create a warrior without emotions. I'm here to report that I always believed that PSTEC could do something like this in a good way, and it has taken me to a place of which all I can say to anyone is keep going, you will eventually get there and once you do, you will be in a place words cannot describe.
I can feel the change. I feel like a completely different person. My family and friends commented on how they have noticed a massive change in me.
I never imagined the emotional clicktracks alone could produce such a profound result. This is just awesome and though I see a few little cookie crumbs to sweep up, I am moving ahead with other small things as they come to me.