Reply To: Liking or loving oneself.
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Great stuff, Plus1g Thank you.
I do appreciate what you mean about emotions, Rojaque. Sometimes people do not feel them profoundly, and this can be simply related to their neurology. Other times, beliefs can get in the way.
If you were discouraged from showing emotion when you were a child or noted it as a sign of weakness, this could get in the way. Beliefs like “it is dangerous/wrong to feel certain emotions” could stop these from coming up too. It does not mean they are not accessible – just that they are hidden, or suppressed.
So, you already sense you have an attachment to your ex. How do you know?
On some level, there must be a feeling or feelings that support this. Could it be a sense of loss or the fact you still love your ex (and have maybe rationalised it away)? Is it a feeling of need?
Work with that.
Think of the things you miss about the relationship. CT those feelings, if you feel you no longer want to have them.
With PSTEC, there is a certain degree of personal choice, and you do not have to CT everything that is “negative” if you believe having such a feeling COULD ultimately be positive. I know I do not CT every single thing that bothers me, as there are certain feelings I choose to retain at this time.
Think about no longer being with your ex or perhaps her meeting someone new. Check to see if these bring up any unwanted emotions and then CT as necessary.
You do not have to be in a state of distress for the CTs to work their magic. That is when you will notice the difference, of course, but they will still be working as long you follow the instructions and TRY to feel the emotions.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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