Liking or loving oneself.

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  • #21908
    AvatarRowan Hasson
    PSTEC User

    Hello Forum Members

    Im hoping to find a way towards self like or even better self love.
    I have been using pretty much all of the PSTEC tools available , although its only been recently that i have been putting serious hours into their use.

    What i have found is that after most long, intense sessions, i end up with a terribly sad and empty feeling for a while. I am currently using the emotional content brought up the break up of , what i thought was ,a life-long relationship involving children.
    What i find behind everything is a sense of lack, and an inability to feel care or good things about myself, a kind of numbness to myself and anything positive that there may be about me. This does not mean that i can not logically see anything good whatsoever, only, emotionally  speaking, after constantly sabotaging everything good in my life, including the most amazing family set up, i find it very hard to see the positives.

    I have worked on countless , short and mostly correctly worded PN statements, and used PP hundreds of times using various phrases. This is on top of working with whatever emotions may arise at any time using the CT's.

    In the past 6 weeks alone i must have done over 100 hours of tapping, and whilst there are undoubted improvements in some areas, it feels as though im not getting to the core of this deep deep sadness.
    Having recently been diagnosed with PTSD (yes ive been using the PTSD loop), suffered from sexual, mental and physical abuse as a child, nearly died on two occasions , past through serious health issues and now the break up, the quagmire feels overwhelming at times.

    I know Tim talks of a tipping point in the advanced tutorial, and how things can be at their worst before reaching the tipping point, only i have been at this low low point every 7 days or so during this 6 week PSTEC marathon, and am yet to 'cross over to the light'.
    I am a non smoker, non drinker, healthy eating, physically active man with few remaining vices, so im sure nothing outside of the subconscious is interfering with the process.
    Right now , the deep and paralysing feelings of sadness are connected to no longer living with my loved ones, and self loathing for pushing my ex partner away by chipping away emotionally over 6 years.  self depreciating lows, negativity , fearing the worst, inability to trust and sometimes saying the exact opposite to what i mean have lead to this termination, and even though we meet 1/2 times a week, i am well and truly on the outside now.

    it feels like my heart shut down many many years ago, and i am unable to allow love in and out, apart from, interestingly, with the youngest child, with whom i formed the most miraculous and special bond with-something which is now the source of much sadness due to the sense of loss i feel.
    any help would be greatly appreciated.

    #25227
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Rojaque,

    Thanks for your post and telling us your story. I appreciate that things have been tough for you and I know that this can get much better.

    You can absolutely use PSTEC for any unwanted emotion, and I would suggest working on self-hatred, blame and guilt in this particular case. Those seem to be quite prevalent.

    Write a list of everything you wished never happened (or was not happening) in your life. Take your time on this.

    See what emotions come up. Get really clear on the memories. You are just “re-visiting” these. You are safe.

    Start with the Click Tracks and run through each of these memories – the abuses, the break-ups etc. Again, take your time.

    This would be your ideal starting point. The work you have done so far will, I expect, have stood you in good stead. However, keep going. Get rid of all the negative emotions you can.

    Think of the future “worst case scenarios” too. Run the CTs on those.

    It may take a while, but your persistence will be very rewarding.

    Getting rid of these feelings will free up new possibilities and will then allow you to work on PN/PP. While you COULD start with those, generally it is best to resolve the unwanted emotions first.

    This topic might help too:

    http://pstecforum.com/pf/prosperity-abundance-and-money/pstec-for-self-love/

    Please let us know how you get on.

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25228
    AvatarRowan Hasson
    PSTEC User

    Thank you Paul, that big grin and response is enough to make anyone smile.

    so i should think about any moment/incident/image where i behaved in a way that contributes towards the deep feelings of guilt, self hatred or shame etc?
    i can only think of ones during the relationship at present, although i imagine that these rivers run much deeper, and are connected to the distant past.

    #25229
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    You're very welcome, Rojaque  ;D

    What you suggested is a good strategy. Since the relationship memories are freshest for you, you could certainly start with those, resolve them and then work backwards. Things will become clear AS you clear…if that makes sense.

    Unresolved traumas from the past can find a way to affect us in the present – even if we can devise coping strategies, or can rationalise them away.

    The subconscious will store these events and how we react  (to people, events etc.) NOW can often be triggered by hurts from the past.

    Clearing it all up will give you a tremendous sense of personal power, peace and possibility.

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25230
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Rojaque

    Abuse in early life especially where you were made to feel the one at fault, “you made me do it” and “this is our secret” where you  are denied any outlet for your self loathing leads to a growing variety of negative feelings that fuel things like self harm, alcohol and drug dependency and other repeating patterns of self sabotage. How to go about removing the emotions from those early memories depends on the PTSD and the symptoms you experience. Working backwards as Paul suggests is erm one way forward. Also Click Tracking any memory or event that made you feel disempowered like being in hospital or being bullied or subject to overly authoritarian bosses, these should be Click Tracked even though or perhaps because they are not immediatly related to that early abuse might form a safer path to dealing with those early memories. This helps you build your confidence in the PSTEC to “do it's stuff” and at some point in the future to enable you to build the better life you want.

    Peter

    #25231
    AvatarRowan Hasson
    PSTEC User

    Thank you Kindly Gents. This is all very helpful.
    one thing ive found with using pstec and the emotions im trying to erase, is that they do tend to 'hide' away until something really awful happens. My years of not so successful use of the click tracks came at a fairly comfortable time in life, where i was not too worried or anxious about much, and so what i found is i would use the CT's and bingo..there is no emotion to locate and delete.
    i did mention this to tim many years ago. it comes across as a kind of emotional blank where the only time the deepest , most troublesome material is 'available' or 'on show' is during v sad times. This is why in an ironic way, this break up has been helpful in providing source material.

    one thing i would like direct help with is removing attachment to my now ex. Since we split, almost immediately she became distant and stand-off-ish, not handling an amicable and drama free break up in a kind way (imo).
    i am ready to now work on deleting the attachment to her.
    could you advise me on how to go about this please?

    Thank you again, i really appreciate your efforts to assist .

    #25232
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    A suggestion – sit and say “I hate myself 10 times” like you mean it, if there is a negative emotional charge, clear it until you can say it and there is no charge similar to “I am 8' tall”

    also think about being mad at yourself for doing something and being frustrated with yourself – clear these too

    Clearing these to zero emotional charge will make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself right out of the gate. Of course, how can you love yourself if you have a charge that you hate yourself?

    #25233
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Thank you Kindly Gents. This is all very helpful.
    one thing ive found with using pstec and the emotions im trying to erase, is that they do tend to 'hide' away until something really awful happens. My years of not so successful use of the click tracks came at a fairly comfortable time in life, where i was not too worried or anxious about much, and so what i found is i would use the CT's and bingo..there is no emotion to locate and delete.
    i did mention this to tim many years ago. it comes across as a kind of emotional blank where the only time the deepest , most troublesome material is 'available' or 'on show' is during v sad times. This is why in an ironic way, this break up has been helpful in providing source material.

    one thing i would like direct help with is removing attachment to my now ex. Since we split, almost immediately she became distant and stand-off-ish, not handling an amicable and drama free break up in a kind way (imo).
    i am ready to now work on deleting the attachment to her.
    could you advise me on how to go about this please?

    Thank you again, i really appreciate your efforts to assist .

    I am very familiar with this. You will want to thing about feelings of “letting go” of things including her, Also feelings of “hanging on” (these are different) to her and other things, feelings of having something taken away from you (including her) and feelings of loosing something.

    Also naturally you will have feelings of being rejected, abandoned and any feelings of being insecure. Clear all of these too.

    Start here and you will see a dramatic difference in how you are viewing and experiencing everything that is going on with your situation.

    #25234
    AvatarRowan Hasson
    PSTEC User

    Hi Plus1g thank you.
    The issue is, when i think of the words 'letting go' or 'hanging on' or loosing something, it doesn't feel like there is any emotional charge attached as they are just words.
    If i feel insecure ill CT it, if i feel sad i'll CT it, but the thing about logical concepts is that its hard for me to attach an emotion or feeling to them.
    In this respect, i only seem to be able to work with the feelings which come up in the moment.
    This has been an ongoing issue for me over the years, either the lack of emotional content when i goto CT (unless during a period of crisis), or when i think of words or a logical concept, often the necessary emotional charge does not arise on demand.

    How can i focus in on what needs to be done in this respect?

    thank you again

    #25235
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    As soon as something happens in the moment take some notes in your phone after it has happened that best describe the feelings.

    A tip: If you were to purchase and begin listening to the long relaxing accelerator at bedtime every night and also the short relaxing accelerator at the end each of your sessions your recall and ability to recreate those feelings at a later time will become astounding and your subconscious will begin to automatically reveal to you what feelings to work on next.

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