Reply To: Trying the new PSTEC tools
Thanks for all the detail, I hadn't replied because sometimes when i'm doing this work I stop wanting to report on it and just focus on the process, but I appreciate the detailed posts. Making some progress, it's gonna take a while to get through all of it seeing that it makes me drained. Doing a clicktrack every day, and usually every second day add belief blasters and positive quantum turbo.
Just posting because I noticed something.
2 days ago I belief blasted “I just wasn't attractive to girls”.
And positive quantum turbo “I'm magnetically attractive to girls.”
I think that night an older woman was calling me stud and stuff on tinder, then yesterday I was leaving the supermarket and this cute girl working was full on staring at me submissively and really attracted.
I noticed it and acknowledged her. And was feeling good about it, but after not long bad feelings start to come in that in the past have sabotaged me when I get attention. It's like some kind of fear, 'this is too good kind of thing'.
And I noticed today (2 days later) I felt a little more anxious about going out, and kind of weird around girls at a market.
So is it possible that doing that positive belief could somehow create more anxiety? It's like there's weird fears around it, that i'm not quite sure how to deal with.. and i've also noticed other times it's like interacting with girls just normally is ok, but as soon as I want it to be sexual, or have that intent, or seeing that the girls I want are actually attracted to me then the anxiety and shutdown comes.
It's difficult because it's not an obvious emotion like the intense anger. But I guess I can start by focusing on how I shutdown after seeing that interest and other times i've felt it and maybe it will dig more of it up, just like I was surprised with the intensity of anger that come up last week.
I've noticed it takes me a few days to integrate a new belief, usually it'll be worse for a few days, then something will be better. Noticably this morning in bed I had a dream about a girl interested in me that seemed positive, but it seems with this belief it might take longer to integrate and possibly has more behind it. I know the dream is a good sign of my mind sorting through it in a positive way.