Reply To: I can’t believe this! Amazing

#26149
AvatarOliverJack
PSTEC User

I fell off PSTEC – mostly because I got a new phone and couldn't get the click tracks transferred over.

However I started up again, and I worked through memories from being young that seem quite “insignificant” as far as there are a lot of people out there that have had far more traumatic childhood events than these.  But it is almost magical.  I clear some random memory that has stuck with me all these years, and good things happen in life.

Just to give an example, I was in 4th grade and had to be an altar boy (no not that kind of trauma) at a 7am weekday mass with about 20 people present.  I had just learned how to be an altar boy and this was my second mass. 

I had to ring the bells and one of the bells broke off and clanked across the church marble floor.  I distinctly recall the other altar boy laughing as well as the people in attendance, and the priest's face being not happy.

This has stuck with me for my whole life, I would remember it at random times and feel that embarrassment and shame come up randomly throughout life whenever something would bring that memory up again.

One clicktrack and it is not gone, but seems like someone else's memory or insignificant. 

I don't know what effect this memory has had on my life for all these years but it is so amazing that it's now gone.  Or rather, it's hard to recall and if I try really hard it seems funny kind of.  As if I could be my young self's dad, I say to myself no big deal.  The bells were faulty, wasn't anything to be embarrassed of.

This stuff keeps blowing my mind.