Women, Rejection and Beauty

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  • #25645
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Truman – I would suggest picking up the accelerator package. This will help you tremendously with recall and ease/speed of clearing.

    I would then suggest you listen to the relaxing accelerator at bedtime every night for a week.

    Subsequently, I would suggest you take a big step back to your parents and begin resolving all of your past with them. Then move through your past relationships. When you address all of this you are are going to see a tremendous change in your present. Along the way, you will also recall other people, places and things as you go through that process that have slowly added up over the years to create your present situation. When you resolve these you will see even more change in your present situation.

    #25646
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Truman,

    Thanks for your posts. Also thanks to Brian, David and Ed for your advice, feedback and contributions. I hope other people feel empowered to share their perspectives.

    One thing I would add is that when you truly feel “enough”, Truman, you won't NEED any external validations. You will see these things (money, dates, acclaim etc.) as bonuses, if anything.

    Complete this sentence “What makes me good enough is…”

    Fill in everything that comes to mind. Each of these will be a survival strategy belief – something you believe has to happen to “make” you good enough.

    It seems to me that you may have a few of these beliefs. Things like “What makes me good enough is having girls be attracted to me” or “…being popular.” You may discover others.

    If survival strategies worked as effectively as we believe, the conditions would surely only need to be met once.  For example, you would find out you were attractive and feel good enough forever. However, in truth, they are just a mask for the core belief of “I'm not good enough.”

    A common source of that belief tends to be early interactions with your parents – what you mentioned earlier makes sense.

    Now, obviously your parents did as well as they could within their “life context”, and they are the reason you are here. That considered, they perhaps acted in ways that led you to believe that you could never measure up, or that you were not inherently good enough.

    Think back:

    Whenever you didn't do, say or act as your parents wanted, were you criticised, ignored or punished? When you did something they did like (e.g. perhaps getting good school reports or achieving some goals), did they respond differently?

    Do you or did you ever feel you have to “be someone” for your parents?

    Do you have any resentment about how you feel you have to be?

    Start here. Who do you think you have to be for Mum, Dad and around women?

    Some of the presuppositions with pickup, social dynamics and the like can, in my opinion, be very tribal, aggressive and hostile towards women – not always, but it is there in certain quarters. If you have beliefs that result in prejudices against a group of people, especially those you wish to attract, I would suggest that this is not the best approach in the long-term. If, for example, you desired food…but thought that food was fundamentally bad for you…it might not be the best experience.

    You are right. Your belief is a self-evident truth. You will be able to find countless examples of women interested in leaders, the wealthy or “high status” individuals. You could see this with some men too. You could also find countless examples of women being attracted to men who don't conform to these descriptions.

    It is a fact that not ALL people have the same drives, desires and attractions. If everything was “one size fits all”, this forum would not exist and everyone would roam the Earth eating the same food, saying the same lines and thinking the same thoughts. To limit yourself by believing that all women only want certain traits is doing them, men and yourself a disservice. It limits your experience.

    CT all fear, resentment, anger and jealousy – even if it does not seem to be related to this pattern. It will “chip away the block.” This will help you more than you can possibly imagine.

    Also look at the sort of beliefs that may have been “born” along the way. Read back what you wrote. Do any of these beliefs resonate (say them out loud)?:

    “I'm a loser.”

    “I don't measure up”

    “Women aren't interested in guys like me.”

    “I'm not attractive.”

    “I am hopeless.”

    “I'm inferior.”

    “Women can't be trusted.”

    If you have any beliefs like these, feel free to BLAST them away.

    Please keep us updated.

    Paul  :)


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25647
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    Thank you guys I just purchased Accelerators.

    I'll work on these positive affirmations Paul and I'll update the next week.

    #25648
    AvatarTruman
    PSTEC User

    after working on this issue for several weeks i feel more at ease with it.

    yesterday i want on a date with a very gorgeous women (someone who in the past i would had thought she was totally out of my league) and we had a great time together. at the end she wanted to repeat it some other day.

    #25649
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    AWESOME!!!

    #25650
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hi there, I’d like to touch on what has been discussed in this topic.

    I have a similar issue, where the prettier the girl is, the more I don’t think they’d like me, and it has been my experience recently.

    In my mind, I don’t feel good enough (attractive enough mostly) to be with the girls I want to be with. I then get critical of myself physically, by looking into the mirror and noticing what I don’t like about myself and what I see. I also keep thinking if I was more attractive/handsome…I wouldn’t be having this problem.

    What should I do? Is it possible to see myself as attractive? In my opinion, if I don’t like what I see physically or appreciate who I am…how is anyone else supposed to? I guess installing a beliefs like I am attractive/I am good enough for attractive partners would help.

    Can I focus on what I see in the mirror and clear the negative emotions until I feel attractive?

    Thanks for any input!

    #25651
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Hi there, I’d like to touch on what has been discussed in this topic.

    I have a similar issue, where the prettier the girl is, the more I don’t think they’d like me, and it has been my experience recently.

    In my mind, I don’t feel good enough (attractive enough mostly) to be with the girls I want to be with. I then get critical of myself physically, by looking into the mirror and noticing what I don’t like about myself and what I see. I also keep thinking if I was more attractive/handsome…I wouldn’t be having this problem.

    What should I do? Is it possible to see myself as attractive? In my opinion, if I don’t like what I see physically or appreciate who I am…how is anyone else supposed to? I guess installing a beliefs like I am attractive/I am good enough for attractive partners would help.

    Can I focus on what I see in the mirror and clear the negative emotions until I feel attractive?

    Thanks for any input!

    Which PSTEC tools do you have?

    #25652
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    I recently purchased PQT, the belief blasters and CT 2015.

    #25653
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi bjdutch,

    Thanks for posting and for confirming the products you own.

    The first thing I would recommend is to check whether the beliefs I suggested earlier in the thread resonate with you.

    If they do, please put them into the past tense and run a Belief Blaster track on each of them while trying hard to believe the belief statement.

    For each belief you blast, layer in a positive suggestion with PQT. So, blast a belief and then follow up with a PQT.

    A suggestion like “I am absolutely attractive enough as I am now” will be very effective for most people, but play about with suggestions that really fire you up. This is your playground really.

    How do you want to feel and behave when you see pretty girls?

    Ease? Certainty? Worthiness?

    What about when you look in the mirror?

    “When I see myself now, I see that I am absolutely worthy”

    This is your chance to layer in the suggestions that serve you. There is no universal truth here. If it feels like you are kidding yourself, ask what it is you don't like about your looks and BB that.

    If there is any historical bullying, name-calling or teasing (particularly about your appearance), I recommend running a long CT2015 on these instances. CT down to 0.

    Use all the PSTEC tools you have and create what you really want.

    When you believe what you really want to believe at a core level, there is a subcommunication going on. People generally pick up on it.

    The more you do this, the more the results and everyday miracles stack up.

    I hope that helps.

    Please keep us updated.

    All the best,

    Paul  :)


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25654
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Thanks so much for the helpful reply.

    The lowdown on me is I was talking to this girl (and I was hoping things were going good) but just recently she stopped talking to me and it really got me down.

    I tried to imagine the sadness/fear/resentment/paranoia/jealousy of the situation. Her not talking to me, me never being with her, her finding someone better etc. I must’ve done the 30 min long click tracks at least 8 times with little relief.

    I then turned to the belief blasters and tried to run certain beliefs about the situation…which really was about me and my insecurities about being with her: I’m not good enough, not handsome enough etc. I’ve felt a little relief after running those but those but they still seem true. Do I just keep running the beliefs blasters until I feel a shift?

    This whole situation has got me feeling crazy. All my worries/doubts/fears about myself and my capabilities all came exploding to the surface this last week or so. Been clicking for hours and hours with some relief. I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong but I get discouraged when I’m tapping/or running BB and still feel bad even after hours of doing so.

    Sorry for the long post…but thanks again for the help!

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