Women, Rejection and Beauty

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  • #25655
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Try blasting these beliefs already in past tense

    I was ugly
    I wasn't attractive
    Women didn't find me attractive
    Pretty girls wouldn't have liked me
    Pretty girls wouldn't have talked to me
    I didn't like who I was
    I didn't appreciate myself
    I didn't love myself
    I didn't accept myself
    I was always alone in the end
    Rejection had something to do with me
    I would have rather been alone than rejected
    I would have rather been alone than abandoned
    Love was too painful
    I couldn't have accepted love
    Women hated me
    People could tell what I was thinking

    #25656
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    A little update…I’ve been running BB tracks like crazy. I feel some relief for awhile then feel bad again.

    I just can’t shake the belief that I’m ugly/not attractive enough…mainly because of my skin (acne scars from when I was younger)

    I’ve ran “I was ugly.” “I hated my face.” “I couldn’t love my skin.” “I wasn’t handsome enough.” But these things still feel true to me. Is it like the click tracks where I just keep repeating a BB track until it doesn’t feel true anymore?

    Also, any advice on Belief statements on a specific person? If that can be applied. I’m so caught up on this girl whom I was talking to and that has come to a hault and it’s been really hard to cope. I felt like not being good enough/handsome enough for her, she’ll never want me…consumed my mind when we were talking and it became a self-fulfilling procephy as she stoppped talking to me and trying to hang out.

    I’m so discouraged after running a bunch of these beliefs and still feeling the same when I look in the mirror. If I can’t love myself, I can’t expect her to…(which is where I want to be at the end of this)

    Again changing my perception about my attractiveness seems impossible. For years I’ve always wished i looked differently…I just count never accept what I see in the mirror. I just can’t accept I could be handsome with my facial flaws.

    EDIT: I saw on Brian’s post on the list of Belief statements to blast “pretty girls didn’t like me. And “women wouldn’t have found me attractive.” Could these beliefs contribute to not liking my physical appearance? If I believed the girl I want to be with would find me attractive/want me as I am now…would I still be critical of myself? Or the right approach is getting to the point of loving what I see in the mirror/feeling handome enough first and then I’d approach the situation more confidently, believing she’d want me?

    I was hoping it would’ve been as simple for me as removing “I was ugly.” And installing “I am handsome enough exactly as I am now.” And then i could go out an get my girl lol.

    Any input would be greatly appreciated…

    #25657
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    A little update…I’ve been running BB tracks like crazy. I feel some relief for awhile then feel bad again.

    I just can’t shake the belief that I’m ugly/not attractive enough…mainly because of my skin (acne scars from when I was younger)

    Try blasting “there was something about me that wasn't attractive” Full credit to Paul McCabe for this type of phrase.

    Also CT any feelings of shame, embarrassment, humiliation on the looks from the past.

    I’ve ran “I was ugly.” “I hated my face.” “I couldn’t love my skin.” “I wasn’t handsome enough.” But these things still feel true to me. Is it like the click tracks where I just keep repeating a BB track until it doesn’t feel true anymore?

    Also, any advice on Belief statements on a specific person? If that can be applied. I’m so caught up on this girl whom I was talking to and that has come to a hault and it’s been really hard to cope.

    I felt like not being good enough/handsome enough for her, she’ll never want me…consumed my mind when we were talking and it became a self-fulfilling procephy as she stopped talking to me and trying to hang out.

    Blast the belief “there was something about me that wasn't good enough”

    Clicktrack any feelings of expectation you have around her to a 1 or 0.

    I’m so discouraged after running a bunch of these beliefs and still feeling the same when I look in the mirror.

    Clicktrack feelings of discouragement around the issue and the feelings of “still feeling the same when I look in the mirror”

    Blast the beliefs “I couldn't change””there was something about me I couldn't change” “nothing ever works out for me”  “nothing ever works for me” “things never get any better”

    If I can’t love myself, I can’t expect her to…(which is where I want to be at the end of this)

    Belief blast “I didn't deserve to be loved” “I wasn't worthy of love” “I couldn't love myself”

    Again changing my perception about my attractiveness seems impossible.

    Belief blast “change was impossible” or “it was impossible for me to change”

    For years I’ve always wished i looked differently…I just count never accept what I see in the mirror. I just can’t accept I could be handsome with my facial flaws.

    Belief blast “I couldn't accept myself” “there was something about me people couldn't accept” “I looked awful in the mirror” “I couldn't accept my flaws” “I was flawed” “I had to be perfect to be loved”

    EDIT: I saw on Brian’s post on the list of Belief statements to blast “pretty girls didn’t like me. And “women wouldn’t have found me attractive.” Could these beliefs contribute to not liking my physical appearance? If I believed the girl I want to be with would find me attractive/want me as I am now…would I still be critical of myself?

    Belief blast: “I had to be perfect to be loved” “I had to be perfect to be wanted”

    Or the right approach is getting to the point of loving what I see in the mirror/feeling handome enough first and then I’d approach the situation more confidently, believing she’d want me?

    I was hoping it would’ve been as simple for me as removing “I was ugly.” And installing “I am handsome enough exactly as I am now.” And then i could go out an get my girl lol.

    Any input would be greatly appreciated…

    Try these positive suggestions:

    Thinking I looked bad was absolutely false now I'm attractive
    I really do look extremely handsome now it's absolutely true
    My looks really are completely safe now it's absolutely true
    I really do feel extremely great about my looks now it's absolutely true
    Women really do want me safely now it's absolutely true
    I really am extremely desirable now it's absolutely true
    I really am extremely attractive now it's absolutely true
    Women really go crazy about the way I look now it's absolutely true
    Women really do love the way I look now it's absolutely true
    Women really do safely love me now it's absolutely true
    Women really do safely want me now it's absolutely true
    I really did completely overcome the way I looked safely now it's absolutely true
    I really did totally conquer how I looked safely now it's absolutely true
    I really am totally beyond the way I looked now it's absolutely true

    #25658
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi bjdutch,

    Thank you for the update.

    In addition to what Brian has suggested, when you are running the BBs, really try to FEEL “I am ugly”

    Beliefs always go beyond mere words and are abstractions we make about ourselves, the world and other people. They will be linked to certain behaviours and emotions. Use all of it when trying hard to believe the belief.

    If it is easier for you to process, CT while you look at yourself in a mirror and try hard to “feel ugly” and disgust while CTing. Imagine how you would feel if everyone thought this about you and CT those feelings. When you get to a 0 or 1, you will feel free.

    There is a different goal for everyone, but a sense of well-being ALWAYS comes from within. When you FEEL good enough and acceptable at a core level, it will emanate from you and people will pick up on it.

    You don't have to be flexing in the mirror or be consumed with self-love (unless you want to!), but being cool with yourself will be a game-changer for you.

    Additional beliefs you may wish to blast might include:

    “It was impossible to be attracted to someone like me”
    “I was not wanted”
    “I was not desirable”
    “I was unacceptable”
    “I was inferior”
    “I looked horrible”
    “I was not worthy”
    “I was worthless”
    “I wasn't what women wanted”
    “I didn't look good enough as I was”
    “I was flawed”

    Then chunk down on the features you don't like and blast beliefs related to those. Hint: anything negative you perceive in your or anyone else's physical appearance is not a universal truth. It is just a preference and those are usually built on a foundation of beliefs and emotions.

    For every belief you blast, layer a positive suggestion.

    Best Regards,

    Paul  :)


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25659
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    So another update…

    Been doing a lot of belief blasters, i feel better about things and myself. Not really confident in my looks/abilities yet but in a much better place now than i was 2 weeks ago.

    I actually managed to take the girl (who i was feeling dread over) for a walk last night. Not sure if she likes me…but I’m going to keep running the belief blasters and quantum turbo and hopefully I can create the outcome I want.

    Thanks Paul and Brain for your help!!!

    If anything else comes up I’ll post again

    #25660
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    It's nice you are getting results! To expand on Paul's post:

    I have a lot of people ask me if they are doing Belief Blaster “right”

    As a general rule, this is how I use BB and get MAXIMUM effectiveness:

    1.) Think about the belief you are saying in past tense e.g. “I was/had been worthless” and repeat it over and over

    2.) Think about all of the worst experiences in your life that this has occurred (or will occur) and really feel the worst/most extreme possible thoughts and feelings you can about that belief as you think about all of those experiences. Try as hard as you can to believe what you are saying is true about those experiences and the feelings as you think about all of those memories.

    Example: Life was/had been unfair: Think about all of the things in your life that have been unfair, really feel those feelings of unfairness as far back and as bad as you can remember the entire time as you really try hard to feel them and believe what you are saying is true.

    You can even throw in worst care extreme imagined future events.

    You will see profound results using BB this way! It really is easy!

    #25661
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    BJDutch –

    Sometimes it helps to go deeper than what is going on with the problem.

    Try this little experiment…

    Think about everything around this situation, the most extreme worst care thoughts you can while blasting the belief “I couldn't handle it” Really feel those extreme feelings while you try as hard as you can to believe what you are saying about all of this is true. Rejection, abandonment, embarrassment, shame not feeling good enough, being ugly/unattractive etc.

    You can even branch out into anything else you can think of that you believe you can't handle. Really feel those feelings you can't handle it.

    Let us know.

    #25662
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Bjdutch try blasting these beliefs too

    I must have had the approval of others
    I must have had approval or they would have abandoned me
    They would have rejected me
    Rejection was bad
    They would have abandoned me
    I must not have been flawed or they wouldn't have loved me
    I wouldn't have been loved because I was shameful
    There was something to be ashamed of
    I must have looked good
    I must have been worthy of love and had kept them there
    I must have been attractive so they would have loved me and stayed
    I must have been pleasing so they would have loved me and stayed

    Be sure to feel the feelings really hard as you think about everything you possibly can come up with around these phrases with the most extreme emotions you can come up with.

    #25663
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Thanks Brian I’ll give these a shot…

    A little update too…so I’ve been able to let go lots of bad feelings/perceptions about my physical appearance which is good.

    But with the girl I’m talking to, sometimes it seems like she’s interested and other times it feels like I’m just a friend to her. I’ve been getting frustrated with thoughts why isn’t this going the way I want? And will she ever warm up to the idea of being with me?

    Oh man love is a battlefield haha

    Thanks again for the helpful ideas!!!

    #25664
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    Thanks Brian I’ll give these a shot…

    A little update too…so I’ve been able to let go lots of bad feelings/perceptions about my physical appearance which is good.

    But with the girl I’m talking to, sometimes it seems like she’s interested and other times it feels like I’m just a friend to her. I’ve been getting frustrated with thoughts why isn’t this going the way I want? And will she ever warm up to the idea of being with me?

    Oh man love is a battlefield haha

    Thanks again for the helpful ideas!!!

    Things must have always went perfectly
    Things should never have gone wrong
    I couldn't have handled uncertain outcomes
    I couldn't have handled bad outcomes
    Things should have gone the way I wanted them to
    Women didn't want to be with me
    Others weren't interested in me
    I wasn't interesting
    I had nothing to offer

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