Approach Anxiety

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  • #21836
    Avatarmath341c
    PSTEC User

    Hello PSTEC! :)

    My name is Math and im a 18 year old guy which has a problem getting in a relationship and have some kind of social anxiety, which i am working on.

    So my big goal is to be able to approach people especially girls, and just begin to talk, to them, so i can become a social guy, as i always wished to be. But i am unable to reach my goal, because i feel intenste anxiety and fear when i want to approach girls at my age. I feel intense uncomfortable feelings in my belly, and my heartrate increases. When i see an attractive girl i want to approach, i also hear excuses in my head to not approach the girl like: No she will retject me, others will look at me etc”. I heard many positive things about PSTEC on many forums, and i bought the level 1 and accelerators package. The problem is that the attractive girls in my city, are going around the centrum like shopping malls, clothes-shops, where there are many people, and it gives me even double more anxiety, because i have fear of what other people will think and that they will look at me. I really want to do anything to banish this fear off. I have tried NLP treatment but without sucess for anxiety. But NLP helped me with self esteem. Before the NLP treatment i hated myself. But now i like myself, but i still have the anxiety around attractive women.

    I would really like to get some help from some professional, i don't know where to start and how to treat my problem. I have of course listened to the course i understand how it works, but i don't know how to treat my problem. I hope someone can help, and i really thank in advance to all the therapists that want to help at this forum i really appreciate it.

    Best Regards Math.

    #24751
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    First if you have not already done so download the FREE Basic Click Tracks. Assuming You have not yet tried out any of your PSTEC products these will be a bit easier to start with than the eefs from Level 1.

    Once you have downloaded and unzipped the files listen to the instructions file first. Then listen to the first few minutes of one of the Click Tracks so that you know what they sound like and have to do.

    The Click Tracks remove unwanted feelings from memories or anticipated future events. In your case I suggest that you imagine a near future scene where you approach some girls you would just like to chat and hang out with for a while. Imagine then it all going wrong that they put you down, laugh at you you, call you names. Imagine whatever is the the worst thing that could happen for you, that would make you feel really small, embarrassed, useless, unwanted, and such like. Keep this scene in mind rate the feeling on the 0-10 scale and run the Click Track. Keep trying all the way through tapping in synch with the Clicks as instructed. It is in practice simple but not easy. PSTEC Click Tracks require your active involvement.

    There is much more but please start as I have suggested, do this a few times over and let me know how you got on with it and how the 0-10 scores before and after changed for you. Then we can move on to the next step.

    If you have anymore questions before or during this short trial please ask.

    Peter

    #24752
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Here's a PSTEC Interview specific on this subject…
    http://pstecaudiosource.org/602/pstec-interview-meghan-saunders

    #24753
    Avatarmath341c
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    First if you have not already done so download the FREE Basic Click Tracks. Assuming You have not yet tried out any of your PSTEC products these will be a bit easier to start with than the eefs from Level 1.

    Once you have downloaded and unzipped the files listen to the instructions file first. Then listen to the first few minutes of one of the Click Tracks so that you know what they sound like and have to do.

    The Click Tracks remove unwanted feelings from memories or anticipated future events. In your case I suggest that you imagine a near future scene where you approach some girls you would just like to chat and hang out with for a while. Imagine then it all going wrong that they put you down, laugh at you you, call you names. Imagine whatever is the the worst thing that could happen for you, that would make you feel really small, embarrassed, useless, unwanted, and such like. Keep this scene in mind rate the feeling on the 0-10 scale and run the Click Track. Keep trying all the way through tapping in synch with the Clicks as instructed. It is in practice simple but not easy. PSTEC Click Tracks require your active involvement.

    There is much more but please start as I have suggested, do this a few times over and let me know how you got on with it and how the 0-10 scores before and after changed for you. Then we can move on to the next step.

    If you have anymore questions before or during this short trial please ask.

    Peter

    Hello Jeff and Peter, really thanks for you answers.

    Peter Bynyan i have listened already how to do it. But i don't understand it fully.

    So when i need to tapp, am i supposed to tap two fingers together on the right hand for example? Example the thumb and ringfinger, just tap them together?

    And you tell me to imagine the worst cases that could happen when i approach. So i imagine the worst cases while i tap?

    #24754
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    Tapping is best done using both sides of the body left and right hands or feet. You do not have to tap against anything but most people I would guess tap while sitting or laying against the tops of their legs, it seems fairly natural to me. Find somewhere comfortable, quiet, distraction free and allow 20 minutes or so. You need to feel the unwanted fear, emotion or feelings while tapping. So recalling a bad experience from memory and reliving it or expecting something bad to happen in a future scene is a way to connect with those feelings. This can be fairly intense as you need to try and hang on to those feelings all the way through to the end. The upside is that I would expect you to notice a positive difference afterwards. This is why so many people love PSTEC, it can be so quick and effective.

    Also if you can use earphones or better still over-the-ear headphones.

    Peter

    #24755
    Avatarmath341c
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    Tapping is best done using both sides of the body left and right hands or feet. You do not have to tap against anything but most people I would guess tap while sitting or laying against the tops of their legs, it seems fairly natural to me. Find somewhere comfortable, quiet, distraction free and allow 20 minutes or so. You need to feel the unwanted fear, emotion or feelings while tapping. So recalling a bad experience from memory and reliving it or expecting something bad to happen in a future scene is a way to connect with those feelings. This can be fairly intense as you need to try and hang on to those feelings all the way through to the end. The upside is that I would expect you to notice a positive difference afterwards. This is why so many people love PSTEC, it can be so quick and effective.

    Also if you can use earphones or better still over-the-ear headphones.

    Peter

    Hello Peter, yes i use headphones, and i understand the imagination step now.

    But i did not get fully get that tapping? I don't understand how to do it. I want to tap with fingers, do i take for example the thumb, and tab it on a table? And with the feet? How do i tap them? Do i take a finger and tap on a finger from my feet?

    Best Regards Math.

    #24756
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    With the tapping what matters is using both sides of your body. I suggest that you gently “pat” the tops of your legs with your hands all fingers together but you can place your hands in the same place and just “pat” with a few fingers together keeping your palms on the tops of your legs/thighs. Try to keep the correct hands/fingers tapping in synch with the Clicks and Tones as instructed at the beginning of the track while focusing on the memory or future based scene in order to get the feelings and just let Tim's voice talk away in the background.

    Peter

    #24757
    Avatarmath341c
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    With the tapping what matters is using both sides of your body. I suggest that you gently “pat” the tops of your legs with your hands all fingers together but you can place your hands in the same place and just “pat” with a few fingers together keeping your palms on the tops of your legs/thighs. Try to keep the correct hands/fingers tapping in synch with the Clicks and Tones as instructed at the beginning of the track while focusing on the memory or future based scene in order to get the feelings and just let Tim's voice talk away in the background.

    Peter

    Hello Peter again.

    Really thanks for you time for trying to help me :)

    I have a difficulty understand it through text, but let me be clear:
    So when i have to tap the right side, i take alle my fingers from right hand and tap on the right top leg.

    When i have to tap the left side, i take alle my fingers from left hand and tap on the left top leg.

    When i have to tap both sides, i take alle my fingers from both hands and tap on both sides on  the top of the legs.

    Thank you very much again.

    Best Regards Math.

    #24758
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    Sounds like you have “got it”!

    If you still have problems I will record a short video demonstration for you.

    Try it and let us know how you get on.

    Peter

    #24759
    Avatarmath341c
    PSTEC User

    Hi Math

    Sounds like you have “got it”!

    If you still have problems I will record a short video demonstration for you.

    Try it and let us know how you get on.

    Peter

    Hello again, yes i would really appreciate it, if you could make a video for me. Because it is a bit hard to understand it through audio and text. It would be nice to be sure that i am doing it 100% correct.

    Oh one thing more. Do I also have to write a believe down on paper?

    Best regards Math.

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