Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
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- July 8, 2016 at 10:14 am#24593joergPSTEC User
Peter,
guess we cross posted again. Nice advice. I will do some PP as you suggest. Thanks! I can do this while feel more at ease with my current status.
Cheers,
JJuly 8, 2016 at 11:09 am#24594Tomas ZobalPSTEC UserYour post makes perfect sense, Peter. Thank you for being so helpful.
Based on everything I have read and listened to, I thought the way to go is always to clear the negative and unwanted first before “installing” the new and desired. My understanding was that a lot of times, just clearing the old can facilitate the change because a new perspective opens up by not running the old patterns.
Creating the new perspective by using PP (or any over modality) without making space (by getting rid of the old) first was in my understanding less productive because the new would always have to compete with the habitual, reinforced by time and therefore much stronger old patterns.
Also Click Tracking Fear of Change, Fear of the Unknown/New, Fear of Failure, Fear of Success and PSTEC Positive suggestions to the effect “PSTEC will work for me quickly and easily”. Some will find these fears too vague to Click Track and not believe the Positive statements.
If that's the case (finding these fears to vague and not believing PP)… what should one do?
July 8, 2016 at 1:18 pm#24595Peter BunyanPSTEC UserTomas
Based on everything I have read and listened to, I thought the way to go is always to clear the negative and unwanted first before “installing” the new and desired. My understanding was that a lot of times, just clearing the old can facilitate the change because a new perspective opens up by not running the old patterns.
Creating the new perspective by using PP (or any over modality) without making space (by getting rid of the old) first was in my understanding less productive because the new would always have to compete with the habitual, reinforced by time and therefore much stronger old patterns.
Yes, going for the Negative emotions first is the default way, however as discussed not always the one that works most effectively.
Where the fears/feelings/emotions are more ephemeral, vague or ill defined then this is where finding ways to magnify/amplify/big up the feelings comes in. Usually I suggest thinking about the worst things that can happen if things stay the same or get worse with inaction. An unending bleak future, other disaster, lose job/money/car/house, partner leavesorces, whatever you fear the most and really imagine it happening while you Click Track.
The Positive statements you choose need to be believable or more accurately imaginable. You need to be able to imagine it and feel it being true while you run the Positive track. You can devise a series of statements that ramp up from “It could/might happen” to “It will happen/it is going to happen” Play the lowest first and when you have no doubts or negative feelings about it move up to the next and so on. If you find that immediately after reading your positive statement a small voice at the back of your mind says “That would be nice but….” Then this would be a good target for PSTEC Negative first before the Positive track.
Peter
July 8, 2016 at 9:26 pm#24596Tomas ZobalPSTEC UserDefinitely good to have more strategies! In my case, it wasn't so much that the emotions/feelings were vague, it was more like thy would pop up out of the blue. There was no event or incident that would trigger them.
As it was said before, sometimes it's a loop of emotions and beliefs, one creating and reinforcing the other.
July 9, 2016 at 10:03 am#24597Peter BunyanPSTEC UserHi Tomas
There is always something that is the trigger, it was just so subtle and happened so fast your conscious mind never noticed it. Your subconscious however did did react with the pattern/chain/loop of negative feelings and thoughts. This trigger could be any sight, sound, smell or any sensory thing in any combination or even something similar. It is something that is stuck in your memory and has negative associations. Trying to remember or figure it out is likely to be unproductive so do not bother trying, ask yourself the question and trust the answer will come to you at sometime in the future. This is a bit like when you have mislaid your keys/wallet the harder you try to remember where you left them/it and get more desperate the more your mind blanks. When you relax and get on with doing something else the answer can suddenly appear and you can recall what you did with them/it. You can retrace your steps to the point you last had them/it and this works but in the case of the trigger it could be something from many years in the past and you were very young.
Peter
July 9, 2016 at 11:43 am#24598Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum ModeratorHi Tomas,
You asked a great question:
“When using CTs, PN or PP, we sometimes have to run them a few/many times on one particular issue. Is it important to deal with such issue in a short period of time? Let's say within a few days? Does running the tracks again let's say weeks later put us back at the starting line?”
The NLP co-inventor, Richard Bandler, one said something to the effect of “trying to change slowly is like trying to have a conversation by saying one word a week.”
I would agree that we should aim for quick change (as long as the stress and urgency in doing so isn't counterproductive).
However, some changes are incremental. This ties into what Joerg was asking too: we have emotional and behavioural patterns. Some beliefs and emotions support these patterns and the “house of cards” will only really topple when these are eliminated.
For what it's worth, I don't think that you'd have to go back to the starting point if you worked on but didn't completely resolve an issue or eliminate the pattern. There would be a cumultative effect, in all likelihood.
It's a bit like developing a relationship through your interactions with people. Sometimes it develops quickly, but other times it develops more gradually. However, in either case, it's still developing.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
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July 9, 2016 at 12:06 pm#24599Tomas ZobalPSTEC UserThank you, guys!
It's important and very helpful to hear your opinions. I tend to be very linear in my thinking. I want to know all the steps before I engage in something, how they'll play out, how long they will take, when the problem will be solved, what's the likelihood of solving it, etc.
As I mentioned earlier, perfectionism is something I have been dealing with my whole life and a lot of times it prevented me from exploring things. I need to keep it light and enjoy the process. As Paul pointed out, a sense of stress and urgency won't help at all.
One factor that's against me is time. I don't have a lot of it. I leave for work very early in the morning and don't get back home until the evening. What happened to me in the past few months was that I'd actually fall asleep listening to WoA and I could feel I was dozing off (not concentrating as much) during CTs. That was one of the reasons I started the other thread where I was hoping people would share their PSTEC routines so I could see how people deal with busy schedules. From the interviews I have listened to, it seemed like a lot of times initially people spend 2-3 months very focused on PSTEC work, sometimes hours a day. Perhaps that's a good way, to really saturate your conscious and subconscious mind at first. Unfortunately, I just don't have that much free time at this point.
July 9, 2016 at 12:44 pm#24600Peter BunyanPSTEC UserHi Tomas
My suggestion would be to download and listen to the FREE PSTEC and Mindfulness tutorial. Although a few hours listening and taking “notes” is initially required, it does leave you with a way to make progress that is do-able anywhere, no hardware required or with cheap low-tech kit. This would fill in the gaps in your schedule of work with other PSTEC tools and as you put it, keep your mind “saturated” with positive stuff.
Another solution is to learn EFT which again requires no hardware and so very portable and easy to fit in any spare few minutes during the day. This also works well with a PSTEC program.
Falling asleep during Wealth of Abundance is quite common, if this is a real problem then if you can, switch to listening first thing in the morning. (This written for others reading this, as you said you have to leave for work early).
Peter
July 9, 2016 at 1:29 pm#24601Tomas ZobalPSTEC UserHi Peter,
I have listened to the PSTEC and Mindfulness tutorial a few weeks ago. Very informative, but I think to make long lasting changes, using the actual PSTEC tracks is essential. The mind wants to stick with the familiar, with the old patterns.. and I feel like reading or listening to any material (which essentially works with the conscious mind only) can be helpful, inspirational, motivating, but not powerful enough to alter our old programing.
Knowing myself and my tendency to get overwhelmed with many options, I want to focus on PSTEC for now and not get “distracted” by other modalities like EFT. Hope it makes sense.
July 9, 2016 at 1:52 pm#24602Peter BunyanPSTEC UserHi Tomas
While I generally agree with you and understand where you are coming from, In the case of PSTEC and Mindfulness what is important is learning to listen to your own inner voice, your self-talk, and taking immediate action. This, so that when you notice a negative thought or feeling you can immediately counter it with positive suggestions. These can be pre-prepared like PSTEC Positive statements or a more accurate positive opposite to the negative that you just found yourself thinking. ” I can't do….” >>”if others can do it, so can I” (repeat the positive a few times to really emphasize it). With some practice this is as powerful as any modality.
Peter
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